Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
IELTS
WRITING, TASK 1 (CAMB 21) PART 1
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs available
in the U.S. economy in four different sectors (Manufacturing
, Retail, Agriculture, Health Care). Between 1960 and
2020, Units are measured in Million.
Overall, Manufacturing sector leads the chart with highest
Numbers while Agriculture Sector offered least opportunities
for U.S. people.
In Contrast to, The Manufacturing sector saw a rapid increase
in numbers from 1960 to 1980 at 20 million
then, dropped down to nearly 16 million in 2000 Before
reaching up to its lowest in 2020. Although, The Retail
sector also depicts moderate change in its initial years
then grew rapidly till 2000 and remain steady in its
final years.
On the other hand, The Agriculture sector decline slowly till
1980 and remain steady for next 20 years before heading drop
towards its lowest point in 2020 (2 million respectively)
whereas Health care rose gradually from 1960 to 1980
Before showing a significant change heading towards
its final years of more than 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student successfully addresses the main features of the task by reporting data across all four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare) over the sixty-year period from 1960 to 2020. An overview is provided, noting that Manufacturing led the chart while Agriculture offered the fewest opportunities. However, there are some inaccuracies and vague statements in the data reporting; for instance, the student states that Manufacturing reached 'its lowest in 2020' after being at 16 million in 2000, whereas the graph shows 2020 actually sat at 13 million (higher than the 1960 starting point of 15 million). Furthermore, some data points lack precision or are phrased awkwardly, such as '(2 million respectively)'. Nevertheless, the key overall trends and general comparisons are adequately covered, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is structured into four distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the different sectors. Logical organisation is attempted, and cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Overall', 'In Contrast to', 'Although', and 'On the other hand'. However, the referencing and mechanical cohesion are sometimes faulty or awkwardly handled. For instance, the phrase 'In Contrast to, The Manufacturing sector' contains an incorrect preposition and unnecessary comma, and transitions like 'then, dropped down... Before reaching up' disrupt the natural flow. Paragraphing is present, but overall progression is occasionally hampered by clunky transitional phrases and punctuation errors, placing this criterion at a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, incorporating terms such as 'illustrates', 'sector', 'opportunities', 'rapid increase', and 'gradually'. There are, however, several lexical and collocation errors throughout the text. Examples include 'Units are measured in Million' (should be 'millions'), 'highest Numbers' (unnecessary capitalisation and lack of precision), 'head drop towards' (ungrammatical phrasing), and 'remain steady' (tense consistency error). Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general meaning, the persistent word-choice and mechanical errors prevent the score from rising higher than a Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilising subordinate clauses and participial phrases (e.g., 'Before reaching up to its lowest in 2020', 'whereas Health care rose gradually'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with numerous errors in punctuation, capitalization, verb tenses, and prepositions. Examples include erratic capitalization ('Manufacturing', 'Retail', 'Health Care'), tense shifts ('decline slowly' instead of 'declined', 'remain steady' instead of 'remained'), and awkward punctuation ('Between 1960 and 2020, Units are measured in Million.'). These errors require some effort from the reader to interpret, though they do not completely impede communication, aligning the response with Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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