Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph demonstrates the data about the employment figures in the four areas of market of the economy in the United States. The unit of measurement used is millions.
Overall, the divisions of Retail and Health care experienced gradual increase in the workforce size whereas, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Healthcare industries decreased in the span of sixty years from 1960 to 2020 in the US.
Number of jobs was the highest in the industry of Manufacturing in 1960. Labor volume increased from 15millions to 20 millions in the first twenty years, then that figure declined to approximately 13 millions from 1980 to 2020. The division of Agriculture experienced fall in the jobs count from around 6 millions to almost 2 millions.
The employment figure in the industries of Retail and Healthcare surged consistently throughout the years from 1960 to 2020. Although there were more number of jobs in Retail sector than Healthcare division yet they matched the labor volume in 2020 and reached at the peak of 16 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student covers all four sectors presented in the graph and accurately reports key trends and figures, such as the peak in manufacturing jobs at 20 million in 1980 and the steady rise in retail and healthcare. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, capturing the main directional trends. However, there is a minor contradiction in the overview paragraph where the student writes that jobs in 'Manufacturing and Healthcare industries decreased', whereas healthcare actually increased significantly. This slip slightly detracts from the clarity of the overall picture. Data selection is generally good, supporting comparisons between sectors effectively, matching the expectations for a Band 6.5 or 7.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific data groups. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'then', and 'Although'. However, paragraphing could be slightly refined, and referencing is occasionally clumsy, as seen in the phrasing 'whereas, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Healthcare industries decreased'. The progression of ideas flows reasonably well, though the mechanical use of some transition words places this closer to a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, utilizing terms like 'workforce size', 'surged consistently', and 'labor volume'. However, there are notable lexical slips and awkward collocations, such as 'divisions of Retail and Health care', 'reached at the peak', and a direct contradiction in the overview where 'Healthcare' was mistakenly used instead of 'Agriculture'. While less common vocabulary is attempted, these inaccuracies in word choice and preposition use restrict the score to a Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including introductory subordinate clauses ('Although there were more number of jobs...'). There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'demonstrates the data about', 'more number of jobs', and spacing/punctuation issues like '15millions' and double spaces. While these errors do not impede overall communication, their frequency across the text prevents the response from reaching a higher band, placing it comfortably at Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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