Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the data about the employment figures in the four sectors of the economy in the United States. The unit of measurement used is million.

Overall, the divisions of Retail and Health care experienced a gradual increase in the workforce size whereas, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Healthcare industries decreased in the span of sixty years from 1960 to 2020 in the US.

The number of jobs was the highest in the industry of Manufacturing in 1960. Labor volume increased from 15 million to 20 million in the first twenty years, then that figure declined to approximately 13 million from 1980 to 2020. The division of Agriculture experienced fall in the jobs count from around 6 millions to almost 2 million.

The employment figures in the industries of Retail and Healthcare surged consistently throughout the years from 1960 to 2020. Although there was more number of jobs in the Retail sector than the Healthcare division yet they matched the labor volume in 2020 and reached at a peak of 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully covers all four sectors of the economy presented in the graph over the specified period from 1960 to 2020. An overview is provided, noting the upward trends in Retail and Healthcare alongside the downward trends in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, there is a minor contradiction in the overview paragraph where the student mistakenly writes 'Manufacturing and Healthcare industries decreased', whereas Healthcare actually experienced a significant growth (from 2 million to 16 million), which is correctly described later in the body paragraphs. Key features such as the peak of Manufacturing in 1980 and the convergence of Retail and Healthcare at 16 million in 2020 are accurately reported and compared. The data points cited align well with the visual information provided in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs that group information logically by declining versus growing sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different ideas. Cohesive devices are generally used effectively, such as 'Overall', 'then that figure declined', and 'Although there was more number of jobs'. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel slightly mechanical, and the transitional phrase 'yet they matched' is a bit awkward. Overall arrangement is coherent and progression is clear throughout the essay, guiding the reader smoothly from the introduction to the final comparisons.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for a Task 1 response, employing terms such as 'employment figures', 'workforce size', 'declined', 'surged consistently', and 'peak'. Less common lexical items are attempted, such as 'labor volume', though collocations are occasionally unnatural (e.g., 'more number of jobs' instead of 'a higher number of jobs', and 'reached at a peak' instead of 'reached a peak'). Word choices are generally clear enough to communicate meaning effectively without impeding the reader, despite some minor inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses introduced by 'whereas' and 'Although'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'The graph illustrates the data about the employment figures' (unnecessary word 'the data about') and 'experience fall' (missing article 'a'). Punctuation and subject-verb agreement are mostly controlled, and while errors are present—such as 'around 6 millions'—they rarely impede communication and allow the core message to remain clear.

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