Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in millions in four sectors of the economy in the US namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the popularity of jobs in retail and healthcare rose over the period of time; however, the number jobs declined in manufacturing and agriculture.
In detail, in 1960, 15 millions jobs were available in manufacturing, this number soar dramatically and reached an all time high 20 millions in 1980. But this trend decreased moderately and approximately 13 millions jobs were available in 2020. Similarly, the popularity of agriculture jobs also declined over the period of time, decreased from 6 millions jobs in 1960 to around 3 millions jobs in 2020.
Regarding retail and healthcare, the number of job increased from 1960 to 2020. In 1960, around 6 millions and 2 millions jobs available in retail and healthcare respectively. The retail jobs escalated considerably and reached 15 millions in 2000, after that slight increase was seen. In healthcare, number of jobs soar dramatically from around 2 millions jobs in 1960 to 16 millions jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting on the main features of the four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. The overview effectively captures the overall trends, noting that retail and healthcare increased while manufacturing and agriculture declined. Key data points are selected and reported accurately, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before dropping to 13 million in 2020, and healthcare growing significantly from 2 million to 16 million. Comparisons are made where relevant, and the figures align well with the provided data. The task is fully addressed without any major omissions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is arranged logically with a clear overall progression. It begins with an introductory statement, followed by a concise overview paragraph, and then breaks down the details into logical groupings (manufacturing and agriculture in one paragraph, retail and healthcare in the next). Paragraphing is used appropriately. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'In detail', 'Similarly', and 'Regarding', although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Referencing throughout the text is generally clear and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms related to data trends such as 'fluctuates', 'soar dramatically', 'declined moderately', and 'escalated considerably'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word formation and collocation, such as using '15 millions jobs' (instead of '15 million jobs'), 'number jobs' (missing 'of'), and 'slight increase was seen' (missing an article). Despite these occasional slips, the vocabulary is adequate to communicate the data clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as introductory subordinate clauses ('In 1960, around 6 millions and 2 millions jobs available in retail and healthcare respectively'). However, there are several grammatical and punctuation errors, including missing verbs ('jobs available'), incorrect pluralisation of 'million' when paired with a specific number, and comma splices (e.g., 'manufacturing, this number soar'). Furthermore, tense consistency is occasionally flawed, as seen with 'soar' instead of 'soared'. These errors do not impede communication but prevent a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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