Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs of the economy in U.S from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that manufacturing was getting high to low , while retail is increased steadily. on the other hand , agriculture was steadily decline till 2020.
At the beginning of the period, retail started at 6 million jobs in 1960 and steadily grow at 16 million jobs in 2020.over the following year, healthcare just started from the bottom with 2 million jobs only, but grew up rapidly after 1980 and reach at 16 million jobs in 2020.
by contrast, manufacturing was the largest sector in 1960 with 15 million jobs and fell dramatically with 13 million in 2020. Meanwhile, agriculture began at 6 million jobs to 3 million jobs in 1980 and ending at 2 million jobs in 2020
Overall, it is evident that, retail and healthcare was the largest employment sector than manufacturing in the U.S.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student attempts to cover all four sectors across the given period, providing an overview and mentioning key trends such as the rise of retail and healthcare, and the decline of agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing 'fell dramatically with 13 million in 2020' having been 15 million in 1960, overlooking its peak at 20 million in 1980. Furthermore, the final concluding sentence incorrectly claims that 'retail and healthcare was the largest employment sector than manufacturing', which misinterprets the distinct trajectories. While the main features are touched upon, the lack of complete accuracy and under-development of certain data points limit the score to a Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into multiple paragraphs, including a brief introduction, two body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. However, the logical progression is hindered by poor punctuation, missing capitalisation, and repetitive structure (e.g., starting two concluding sentences with 'Overall, it is...'). Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes awkwardly, such as 'on the other hand' and 'by contrast'. Paragraphing is attempted, but sentence boundaries are frequently blurred by comma splices and lower-case beginnings, creating a choppy reading experience. Overall, the essay shows some organisation, aligning with the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, featuring basic terms related to trends such as 'increase steadily', 'grew up rapidly', and 'fell dramatically'. However, there are several word choice and collocation issues, such as 'manufacturing was getting high to low', 'reach at 16 million', and 'largest employment sector than manufacturing'. The range is limited, and spelling and phrasing errors (e.g., 'agriculture was steadily decline') occasionally cause strain or slight confusion. This reflects a typical Band 5.0 lexical profile, where vocabulary is minimally adequate but marred by noticeable errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as using subordinate clauses ('while retail is increased steadily'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in verb tenses and forms, including subject-verb agreement issues ('retail and healthcare was') and tense mixing ('retail started... and steadily grow'). Punctuation and capitalisation rules are largely ignored, with missing periods, commas used instead of full stops, and lower-case letters at the beginning of sentences ('on the other hand', 'over the following year'). These frequent errors and mechanical flaws place this response firmly at Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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