Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph below provides information about the number of jobs in the US economy, mainly in four sectors, from the period of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, there are four sectors: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, which represent the number of jobs. In 1960, the manufacturing industry was booming and accounted for 15 million jobs. This ratio significantly increased in 1980 and reached approximately 20million. While the job ratio was roughly the same in ratail and agriculture industry in 1960. By contrast, the health care industry had a slightly lower number in the beginning.
Overall, the manufacturing industry recorded as offering a highest number of jobs, as compared to the other three industries. However, there was a gradual decline in number of jobs between the period of 2000 to 2020 in manufacturing sector. On the other hand, a substantial rise can be seen in the retail industry reacing around 15 million jobs in year 2020. Likewise there was a sharp decline in the agriculture industry that had less then 5 mlllion jobs in the year 2020.
Health care industry rose considerably from less then 5 million jobs in 1960 to around 15 million jobs in year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student covers all four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) and attempts to report main features and comparisons between 1960 and 2020. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in reading the data; for example, stating that the health care industry started at a slightly lower number compared to retail and agriculture in 1960, when healthcare actually started at 2 million while retail and agriculture were at 6 million. Furthermore, the overview is somewhat repetitive, starting twice with 'Overall'. Despite these issues, the main trends—such as the peak and decline of manufacturing, the rise of retail and healthcare, and the decline of agriculture—are successfully identified and supported with figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response has a logical overall arrangement, breaking information down into an introduction, body paragraphs dealing with different sectors, and a concluding trajectory for healthcare. However, paragraphing is disrupted by placing a second 'Overall' paragraph in the middle of the response, which interrupts the flow of data reporting. Cohesive devices are used ('While', 'By contrast', 'However', 'On the other hand', 'Likewise'), though referencing is occasionally imprecise. Overall, the organization shows clear progression, but paragraph structure and logical connectors need tighter control.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends, such as 'booming', 'gradual decline', 'substantial rise', and 'sharp decline'. There are, however, several spelling and typographical errors throughout the text, including 'ratail' for retail, 'reacing' for reaching, 'then' for than (e.g., 'less then'), and 'mlllion' for million. Word choice is generally appropriate for communicating the trends, but these spelling and mechanical slips restrict the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing dependent clauses and comparative structures (e.g., 'While the job ratio was roughly the same...'). There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'recorded as offering a highest number' (incorrect article usage and passive/active confusion) and repetitive sentence openings. Punctuation is mostly acceptable, but missing hyphens or spacing issues (e.g., '20million') occur. While errors are present, they rarely impede communication.
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