Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
the graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors of the econmy in the us between 1960 and 2020 .
their is major four sectors that was manufacturing , retail, agriculture, healthcare. from 1960 to 2020 there was a huge upliftment and detorartion in the number of jobs in the economy of us .
In 1960 , only 2 million jobs in healthcare furthermore, 6 million jobs in retail as well as in agriculture however, 15 million jobs in manufacturing .Nowadays , their was a drastic change in job opportunities like in agriculture along with retail their is significant growth in jobs from 1960 to 2020 by 16 million. As campare to others , in agriculture it was 2 millions jobs in 2020. howerver, in maunfaturing their is decline in jobs to 13 million in 2020.
In conclusion, their is growth in agriculture along with retail jobs as campare to manufacturing and healthcare in four sectors of the econmy in the us
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The student attempts to cover all four sectors across the years provided, mentioning manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the reporting of the data. For instance, the student states that retail experienced growth 'by 16 million' to reach 16 million, which misinterprets the overall figure as growth, and confuses healthcare and retail growth trends in the third paragraph ('in agriculture along with retail their is significant growth in jobs... by 16 million'). Furthermore, manufacturing is stated to be 15 million in 1960 and declining to 13 million, which is closer to the graph, but the overall summarization lacks a clear, accurate overview of the main trends. The response attempts to make comparisons, but the distorted data reporting and lack of a cohesive overview pull the score down into the lower bands.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text is divided into short paragraphs, but the overall organization and logical progression are weak. The introduction is incomplete and lacks a proper overview of the visual data. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as repetitive use of 'their is' and awkward transition phrases like 'As campare to others'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which data points correspond to which years and sectors. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs breaks down due to erratic sentence structures and lack of smooth logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that impede clarity. Examples of misspellings and misused words include 'econmy', 'detorartion', 'upliftment', 'howerver', and 'maunfaturing'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'upliftment' and 'detorartion', but these are used inaccurately or unidiomatically. The range of vocabulary is strictly limited to the names of the sectors and basic numerical terms, which constrains the precision required for an Academic Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, featuring a very limited range of sentence structures. There are persistent, fundamental errors in basic grammar, such as existential 'their is' instead of 'there are' (e.g., 'their is major four sectors', 'their was a drastic change'), subject-verb agreement issues ('only 2 million jobs in healthcare... was 15 million'), and severe punctuation and capitalization issues (e.g., 'us' instead of 'US', missing periods at the end of sentences). Complex sentence structures are rarely attempted, and when simple or slightly expanded structures are used, frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader.
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