Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Show the graphs to describe the information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors the economy the different years 1960 to 2020.And summarise the information and reporting the main features.Than the number of jobs in four sectors in thge US.

First Manufacturing show the year of 1960 jobs in millions 15 than up of 20 of millions jobs in 1980 .And the year of 2000 down the number of 17 millions jobs the manufacturing .The last of year 2020 show the jobs in millions than less13.

Second Retail show the year of 1960 5 jobs in millions and up the jobs the year of 1980 up to 10millions jobs . And the third of year 2000 up to 15 millions jobs than the last of year 2020 show the retail jons of millions samll up 16.

Third Agriculture the year of 1960 numbers of jobs in millions 5 and the year of 1980 samll down 4 jobs in millions . and the year of 2000 same jobs and the last of year down to 2.5.

Fourth healthcare first year 2.5 and next year

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to describe the line graph showing job numbers in four US economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the student has copied phrases directly from the rubric and prompt instructions, and the text trails off abruptly at the end while discussing healthcare, leaving the response incomplete. While some data points are mentioned for manufacturing, retail, and agriculture, the reporting lacks a coherent overview and fails to make meaningful comparisons across sectors as required by Task 1. Because the response is unfinished and lacks a comprehensive summary of the main trends, it falls short of the requirements for higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The logical organization of the response is severely disrupted by disjointed sentences, abrupt transitions, and an incomplete conclusion. Although the student attempts to separate paragraphs by sector (e.g., 'First Manufacturing', 'Second Retail'), cohesive devices are either missing, repetitive, or mechanically forced (e.g., repeating 'show the year of' and 'up to'). Furthermore, referencing is unclear in several places, and the text ends mid-sentence under the healthcare section, resulting in a distinct lack of overall progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is extremely basic, repetitive, and heavily relies on lifting words from the prompt and graph labels (e.g., 'jobs in millions', 'four sectors'). There are frequent word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'samll up 16' and 'samll down 4 jobs in millions'. The range of vocabulary is narrow and inadequate for discussing statistical data effectively, resulting in frequent strain for the reader trying to decipher the intended figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 3.5

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting almost entirely of fragmented, poorly structured phrases rather than complete, grammatically sound sentences. There is a near-total absence of correct verb forms and clause structures, with frequent errors in prepositions, word order, and tense usage (e.g., 'Manufacturing show the year of 1960 jobs in millions 15 than up of 20 of millions jobs'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries are frequently neglected, causing severe disruption to readability throughout the entire text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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