Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph below illustrates the details about the number of jobs, in million, in four different sector(manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector had the highest number of job throughout the year but it decrease end of the year, while agriculture economy had a fewest jobs compared to other sector. Retail and healthcare sector employment showed the increase considerably.

In 1960, manufacturing employed around 15 million people , compared with approximately 6 million in both retail and agriculture. Healthcare accounted for only 2 million jobs. By 1980, manufacturing had risen to a peak of about 20 million , while retail increased to 10 million. Meanwhile, agriculture fell roughly 3 million whereas healthcare grew to 5 million.

From 1980 onwards, manufacturing employment decreased steadily, reaching about 17 million in 2020 and approximately 14 million in 2020. Retail, however continued to grow, reaching around 15 million in 2020 and 17 million by 2020.

healthcare also saw substantial growth, rising from 5 million jobs in 1980 to around 12 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully covers all four sectors of the economy and presents the main trends over the 60-year period. An overview is provided, noting the dominance of manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in agriculture. Key data points are selected and reported, such as the 1960 starting figures and the 1980 peak for manufacturing. However, there are some data inaccuracies and contradictory dates in the body paragraphs; for instance, the text states that manufacturing reached 'about 17 million in 2020 and approximately 14 million in 2020' and mentions retail reaching numbers twice for the same year with conflicting figures. These inconsistencies slightly undermine the precision of the response, placing it firmly at a Band 6.5 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into logical paragraphs, starting with an introduction, moving to an overview, and then splitting the detailed descriptions across body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', 'Meanwhile', and 'However' are used to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different time periods and trends. However, referencing and progression are occasionally disrupted by mechanical phrasing and contradictory data points, such as repeating 2020 with different values. Overall arrangement is coherent, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs suffers from minor tracking errors, justifying a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'substantial growth', 'peak', and 'employment'. However, there are frequent word-formation errors and awkward collocations, such as 'details about the number of jobs, in million, in four different sector(manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) economy', 'decrease end of the year' instead of 'at the end of the period', and 'agriculture economy had a fewest jobs'. Spelling and phrasing errors occur, but they do not impede overall communication. This matches the Band 6 descriptor where vocabulary is adequate for the task but contains noticeable inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including comparative and temporal clauses ('while agriculture economy had a fewest jobs', 'By 1980, manufacturing had risen...'). There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the text, including missing articles ('manufacturing sector', 'retail and healthcare sector'), incorrect prepositions ('throughout the year' instead of 'period'), and awkward subject-verb agreement or tense usage ('it decrease end of the year', 'agriculture fell roughly 3 million'). While these errors do not prevent comprehension, they occur frequently enough to prevent the score from reaching Band 7.0, making Band 6.0 appropriate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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