Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In, this graph trend of different sectors of jobs in USA is given, of around 60 years.
Overall, there is a very significant incline and decline in these jobs mentioned for United States, where healthcare sector improved the most and agriculture sector declined the most.However there are the changes in other two but not as much these two manufacturing industry increased and then there's a big fall, while there is a visible hike in retail.
Looking first at the manufacturing job market, in manufacturing at the starting of 1960 market was analysed at 15 million of jobs, along with retailing which jobs started on 6 million evaluation.By 1980, manufacturing jobs increased by 5 million while retail by 4 million, whereas in 2000 manufacturing jobs faced a fall by 3 million where retail jobs progressed more by 5 million.Furthermore, in 2020 manufacturing faced a decline of about 4 million while retailing inclined by 1 million.
On the other hand, looking at agriculture in first 20 years they faced a drop of 3 million at the beginning.Whereas, healthcare made a surge from 2 to 5 million and then keep growing, by 2000 it's number increased to 11 million, while agriculture keeps its consistency in these years.And, at the last years healthcare boomed again by 5 million while agriculture faced downfall again by 1 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the task by summarising the main features of the four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. The overview outlines the general trends, noting that healthcare improved the most and agriculture declined the most. However, the response contains several data inaccuracies and calculation errors when describing specific figures. For instance, the text states that manufacturing jobs in 2000 'faced a fall by 3 million where retail jobs progressed more by 5 million' and incorrectly calculates changes across periods. The descriptions tend to focus heavily on isolated interval-by-interval calculations rather than presenting a coherent, overarching picture of the trends. This results in a somewhat disjointed reporting of data. While all four categories are mentioned, the lack of precision and under-developed comparison places this performance at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into paragraphs, featuring an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the different economic sectors. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions, run-on sentences, and poor mechanical cohesion. Devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'And, at the last years' are misused or awkwardly placed, creating a mechanical and repetitive feel. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within sentences is often weak due to missing punctuation and confusing referencing (e.g., 'where healthcare sector improved the most and agriculture sector declined the most.However there are the changes in other two...'). Overall arrangement provides some structure, but the lack of smooth progression and flawed referencing keeps the score at Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on simple terms like 'jobs', 'sector', 'increased', 'fell', and 'decline'. There are notable lexical and collocational errors throughout the response, such as 'market was analysed at 15 million of jobs', 'retailing which jobs started on 6 million evaluation', and 'agriculture keeps its consistency in these years'. Attempts to use higher-level vocabulary often result in unnatural phrasing or incorrect word forms. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic trends about the graph, the numerous inaccuracies in word choice and lack of precision restrict the score to Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and flawed complex constructions. There is a high frequency of grammatical errors, including missing prepositions, faulty verb tenses, punctuation errors, and incorrect clause structures (e.g., 'In, this graph trend...', 'while there is a visible hike in retail.', 'and then keep growing, by 2000 it's number increased...'). Errors frequently cause strain for the reader and impede smooth comprehension, particularly when dealing with relative clauses and time markers. Because complex structures are often faulty and errors are pervasive throughout the text, this response fits the Band 5.0 descriptor.
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