Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The rendered line graph is the clear delineation of percentium of jobs in four various sector which enhance the economy between the given period of 1960 to 2020 . overall , it is the clearly seen that retail sector shows the higher amount of jobs along with the agriculture shows the minimum amount of jobs. to begins with , in 1960 , the healthcare depicts the nearly 3 million jobs afterwards the graph grows rapidly and amounted at 5 milliom in next 20 years .subsequently, the graph staggering at near about 15 million in next 40 years . in addition , agricultural sector registered at 5 million in 1960 and showed the
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The student attempts to summarise the main features of the graph, noting general trends and starting points such as 'healthcare depicts the nearly 3 million jobs'. However, the response is severely incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence with only 112 words, which fails to meet the 150-word minimum requirement. Furthermore, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data (e.g., stating the retail sector shows the highest amount of jobs overall throughout, and misreporting agricultural figures as 5 million in 1960). Due to the severe under-length and incomplete data reporting, the task is only partially addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The text attempts a logical organisation with introductory and body paragraphs, using standard transitional phrases such as 'to begins with' and 'in addition'. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. Paragraphing is disjointed due to the abrupt ending of the text, and referencing is unclear at times. There is no clear overall progression of ideas because the response cuts off prematurely.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to economic data, such as 'delineation', 'sector', and 'registered'. However, there are numerous severe lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'percentium' instead of percentage, 'amounted at' instead of reached, and 'graph staggering' instead of fluctuating or rising. Spelling and word choice errors are noticeable and detract from the clarity of the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentence attempts with frequent errors in basic structure, punctuation, and verb tenses. Examples of errors include 'is the clear delineation' (unnecessary article), 'to begins with' (incorrect infinitive form), and 'the graph staggering' (missing auxiliary verb). These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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