Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the data related to the millions of occupation in Manufacturing, Retail,

Agriculture, Healthcare of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020.

Overall,in the initial years Manufactured was dominated among three sectors while after the years passed retail and agricultural were surpassed and ended at top, Meanwhile health care showed lowest proportion.

To begin with, In 1960,The significant of manufacture contribute almost 15 million jobs

whereas retail and Agriculture account Just 5 millions jobs respectively.in additional health care created only 3 milions occupation.

However, Manufacturer sector reached at highest creation of jobs around 20 million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping abruptly at 100 words. Consequently, the overview and body paragraphs are severely underdeveloped. While the student attempts an overview and mentions some initial data points, key trends across the 60-year period are missing. For instance, the student states that retail and agriculture ended at the top and healthcare showed the lowest proportion, which is factually incorrect according to the graph (where retail and healthcare ended at the top, and agriculture ended at the lowest). Due to the significant under-length and inaccurate data reporting, this falls under Band 4.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay attempts a basic structure with an introduction and an overall statement. However, the progression is disrupted because the response cuts off mid-sentence in the second body paragraph. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Meanwhile health care showed lowest proportion' and 'In 1960,The significant of manufacture contribute'. Paragraphing is also disrupted by the incomplete text and excessive line breaks. While there is a basic attempt to structure the response, the lack of completion and faulty logical links keep it at Band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and often strained by word choice and collocation errors. Examples include 'millions of occupation' instead of 'number of jobs', 'Manufactured was dominated' instead of 'manufacturing predominated', and 'The significant of manufacture contribute'. There are also capitalization and spelling errors such as 'us' instead of 'US', 'Manufacture', and 'milions'. The lexical range is limited and frequently inaccurate, reflecting the descriptors for Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex structures that contain severe errors. Examples include 'The line graph illustrates the data related to the millions of occupation in Manufacturing...' where 'occupation' is used incorrectly as a countable noun for jobs, and 'retail and agricultural were surpassed and ended at top'. There are also punctuation and capitalisation issues throughout. Because errors are frequent and often cause strain for the reader, the response meets the criteria for Band 4.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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