Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
As shown in the table numbers of jobs varies with their professions with the passage of time as we can see there the jobs production is at its peak in manufacturing industry with 15 million jobs in year of 1960, 20 million jobs in 1980, 17-18 million jobs in 2000 and 12-13 million jobs in 2020. also in the opportunities of retail 6-7millions jobs produces by profession in 1960 and increases by 10million in 1980 and goes higher on 15million in 2000 . healthcare industry develops its production very efficiently as there is low jobs productions at 1960 with just 2-3 million jobs but gradually increases with 5million in 1980 and then transferring to peak with 15million job production in 2000 and the acheivement is there 16-17millions job production in 2020.As other industries produces as much as possibles jobs with the passage of time the industry of agriculture decreaces their productions o jobs annually they produces 6-7 million jobs at their starting of 1960 and then decrease with their 2-3million in 1980 and the same rate as in 2000 then they decrease more at 1-1.5 million jobs at 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main trends across all four sectors between 1960 and 2020. Key data points are generally reported accurately, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising significantly to 16-17 million by 2020. However, the response lacks a clear overall summary or introductory overview, jumping straight into specific data details. Furthermore, referring to the line graph as a 'table' demonstrates a minor misinterpretation of the visual format. Ideas are relevant and supported with figures from the chart, placing the response at a Band 6 level for addressing all parts of the task adequately despite structural and formatting oversights.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is written as one continuous, block paragraph without any paragraph breaks, which heavily impacts overall readability and structural organisation. Cohesive devices are either missing or used repetitively and unnaturally, such as starting clauses with 'also' or running long sentences together with 'and then'. While there is a logical progression following the data chronologically for each sector, the lack of paragraphing and poor mechanical cohesion restrict the score to Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 for some logical sequencing of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for communicating basic trends, employing terms like 'peak', 'production', 'industries', and 'decreaces'. However, word choice and collocations are frequently unnatural or imprecise, such as using 'jobs production' instead of 'employment figures' or 'number of jobs', and 'opportunities of retail' rather than the retail sector. There are also spelling errors ('decreaces', 'acheivement') and misuse of verb forms ('produces as much as possibles jobs'). The lexical range is limited and repetitive, which aligns with the Band 5 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The text consists largely of a single, highly convoluted run-on sentence joined by numerous coordinating conjunctions ('and', 'as') with virtually no accurate punctuation. There is a complete lack of proper sentence boundaries, capitalisation after periods, or complex structures that demonstrate control. Errors in subject-verb agreement ('industry of agriculture decreaces their productions') and tense consistency occur frequently throughout the writing. This severely limits the range of structures and drops the accuracy level into the Band 4 category.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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