Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The data in the image illustrates the employment ratio in different sectors of economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare jobs show a significant increase between 1960 and 2020. However, the market of manufacturing and agriculture declined between the same period with minor fluctuations in between.

There were around 5.2 million jobs of retail in 1960 which rose to exactly 15 million in 2000. After that, the employment in retail increases very slightly till 2020. Similarly, the jobs of healthcare workers were amost 0.4 million in 1960 which rose to 5 million in 1980. Following the same trend, it increases to almost 15.2 million by the end of 2020.

On the other hand, the available jobs in manufacturing were 15 million in 1960 which, then inclined to 20 million in 1980 but after that, the number of jobs in this sector started falling, and ended up at approximately 16 miilion in 2020. Job market of agriculture faces the same fate. This sector started at almost 5.2 million but there was no stop to its decline and ended up at 0.4 million approximately.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview of the main trends and reporting key data points across the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is present, correctly contrasting the rising sectors (retail and healthcare) with the declining ones (manufacturing and agriculture). However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in the data retrieval. For instance, the student states that manufacturing ended up at approximately 16 million in 2020, whereas the graph shows it at 13 million. Similarly, the starting point for healthcare is reported as 0.4 million instead of approximately 2 million. Despite these minor data discrepancies, the main features and general comparisons are suitably covered, earning a solid Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is organized into four logical paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs split by economic trends. Information and ideas are arranged coherently, showing a clear overall progression. The student uses cohesive devices and transitional phrases such as 'Overall', 'However', 'Similarly', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different sectors and themes. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional mechanical transitions prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Overall, the structure is easy to follow and meets the criteria for Band 7.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms such as 'employment ratio', 'significant increase', 'fluctuations', and 'declined'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'inclined' and 'facing the same fate', though 'inclined' is misused here in place of 'increased' or 'rose'. Some minor lexical and collocation inaccuracies appear, such as writing 'jobs of retail' instead of 'retail jobs' or 'market of manufacturing'. However, these errors do not impede communication, and the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, placing it firmly at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses introduced by 'while', 'after that', and 'which'. There is good control over basic tense usage when describing past trends (e.g., 'rose to exactly 15 million in 2000'). However, there are some noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'jobs of healthcare workers were amost 0.4 million' (spelling slip of 'amost') and 'the jobs of healthcare workers ... increases to almost 15.2 million' (tense shift from past to present). Punctuation and sentence construction are generally adequate, allowing the reader to follow the argument without difficulty, warranting a Band 6.0.

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