Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates that the number of jobs in the four sector of the economy in the united state , namely Manufacturing ,Retail ,Agricultural and Healthcare between 1960 and 2020.
overall,jobs in manufacturing decreased after 1980, while jobs in retail and Healthcare increased significantly.Agricultural remained the smallest sector throughout the period.By 2020, Retail and Agricultural had the highest number of jobs.
In 1960,Manufacturing had 15 million jobs,which was the highest.It increase to a peak 20 million in 1980. Retail and Healthcare around 6 to 2 million jobs respectively. Agriculture had about 6 million but fell to 3 million in 1980.
In 2000,Manufacturing jobs fell to 17 million,while Retailrose to 15 million and Healthcare to 11 million.By 2020, Manufacturing dropped to 13 million. In contrast,Retail and Healthcare continued to rise to about 16 million each , overtaking Manufacturing. Agriculture remained low at around 2 million during the period between 2000 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student covers all four economic sectors and spans the entire timeframe from 1960 to 2020, presenting an adequate overview of the main trends. Key features are successfully identified, such as the peak and subsequent decline in manufacturing jobs alongside the dramatic growth in retail and healthcare sectors. However, there are some minor factual inaccuracies in the data reporting; for example, the student writes that 'Retail and Healthcare around 6 to 2 million jobs respectively' in 1960, whereas the chart shows healthcare at 2 million and retail at 6 million. Despite these minor discrepancies and a slight confusion regarding retail and agriculture in the second paragraph conclusion, the overall response successfully addresses the prompt and presents a clear summary of the visual data, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into four paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific data points. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, such as 'In contrast,' 'while,' and 'By 2020.' However, referencing and paragraph flow are occasionally awkward or mechanical. For instance, the sentence structure linking retail and healthcare figures in 1960 ('Retail and Healthcare around 6 to 2 million jobs respectively') lacks a verb and causes confusion. Furthermore, paragraphing is somewhat cramped, and the overall progression could be smoother. These issues place the response firmly in the Band 6 category, as the arrangement is coherent overall despite some faulty or mechanical cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully incorporating sector-specific terms such as 'manufacturing,' 'retail,' 'agriculture,' and 'healthcare.' There are also attempts at less common vocabulary items and functional verbs like 'increased significantly,' 'peak,' and 'overtaking.' However, there are noticeable word-choice errors, missing prepositions, and awkward phrasing, such as 'Agricultural remained the smallest sector' (using the adjective instead of the noun 'Agriculture') and 'Retailrose' (a spacing error). Additionally, repetition of basic verbs like 'had,' 'fell,' and 'rose' limits precision. Because the vocabulary is adequate to convey the core message despite these errors, a score of 6.0 is appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting multi-clause sentences with subordinating conjunctions like 'while' and 'as.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the text, including missing spacing around commas (e.g., 'united state , namely Manufacturing ,Retail'), missing verbs (e.g., 'Retail and Healthcare around 6 to 2 million jobs respectively'), and incorrect capitalization ('Retailrose'). Subject-verb agreement and word formation issues also appear, such as 'Agricultural remained' instead of 'Agriculture remained.' These errors occasionally require the reader to re-read, but they do not completely impede communication, which aligns with the criteria for Band 5.5 or a solid Band 6.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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