Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates berief overview about vacancies in four areas of the financial secotor between 1960 and 2020 in the US.

Overall, The chart highlights a clear shift of the US economy towards from the traditional industry towards based on economic employement. The retail and agriculture were rose up massively rather than manufacturing and healthcare are dropped at end of the year. Job were shows in a millions.

To commence with, Production had significantly surged almost 15 millions occupation, very poor positions at healthcare area approximately 2.5 miilions however agriculture and retail had substantial grew about 6 million jobs at 1960. The economic industry in manufacturing had surged in 20 millions, retial and helathcare industry had increased lmost double of previous tenure. Moreover, In Agricultural sector had significantly decreased just half over the lat periods.

On the other hand, Manufacturing was plummet just over 16 millions employement, healthcare also had a similar to 1980's, Agricultural sector had grew steadily in almost 11 millions jobs and retail company had boost the roles about 15 millions. In 2020, Healthcare and retail were lied on the same stage around 15 millions vacancies. Manufacturing again steadily fell in 14 million but there retail was edge up at 1 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to address the task by reporting information from the line graph about four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. However, the response suffers from significant inaccuracies in reporting data and interpreting the trends. For instance, the overview contains confusing and grammatically fractured expressions ('shift of the US economy towards from the traditional industry towards based on economic employement'). Furthermore, specific figures are frequently misstated or muddled; the text states that agriculture and retail 'had substantial grew about 6 million jobs at 1960', whereas the chart shows agriculture at 6 million and retail at 6 million, but conflates years and values throughout the body paragraphs. Key trends, such as the dramatic rise of healthcare and retail alongside the decline of agriculture and fluctuations in manufacturing, are obscured by awkward phrasing and inaccurate data points. Therefore, the response achieves a Band 5.0 for partially addressing the task with under-developed and unclear ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow due to poor logical sequencing and confusing transitions. Introductory markers like 'To commence with' and 'On the other hand' are used mechanically and often fail to signal a genuine contrast or appropriate sequence. Referencing and cohesive devices are frequently inaccurate or misused, making relationships between sentences unclear. For example, sentences in the body paragraphs jump erratically between years and sectors without a clear organizing principle. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak. This level of organisation aligns with a Band 5.0, where there is some organisation but no clear overall progression, and cohesive devices are inadequate or inaccurate.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical range is limited and frequently impeded by word choice and spelling errors. The student attempts less common vocabulary items, such as 'vacancies', 'employement' (misspelled), 'sector' (spelled 'secotor'), and 'substantially', but these are often used incorrectly in context or accompanied by spelling mistakes ('berief', 'miilions', 'retial', 'helathcare'). Phrases like 'economic employement' and 'retail company had boost the roles' demonstrate a lack of precision in collocation and register. Although the vocabulary is sufficient to convey a very basic gist of economic sectors, frequent lexical errors and awkward formations cause noticeable difficulty for the reader, placing this response firmly in the Band 5.0 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is weak, and frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader. There are numerous ungrammatical structures and tense confusion, such as 'had significantly surged almost 15 millions occupation', 'agriculture and retail had substantial grew', and 'Manufacturing was plummet'. Punctuation and word forms are erratic, with pluralisation errors ('millions occupation', 'lat periods') occurring throughout the text. Complex structures are attempted but almost invariably result in faulty syntax and distorted meaning. Consequently, this performance reflects the Band 5.0 descriptors, featuring a limited range of structures where attempts at complex sentences are faulty and frequent errors impede clear communication.

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