Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of vacancies in four departments of the economy in th United States over a period of sixty years.

The workforce is presented in millions.

Overall, the graph highlights the manufacturing industry and agriculture continually declined, while both healthcare and retail were substanially growing between 1960 and 2020.

To commence with, initially in 1960, manufacturing sector was provided 15 million of jobs then in next twenty years it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined till 2020. The agriculture department statrted at five million jobs in 1960 later on it declined and remained same for 40 years in next 20 years it slightly down.

On the other hand, Healtcare and retails sectors significantly inreases and leveled off in 2020. in 1960 healtcare satred with about 2 millions and retail begin with 5 millions in 1980 to 2020 there were increases double in number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to cover all four sectors of the economy (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) over the sixty-year span. An overall trend is provided in the second paragraph, noting that manufacturing and agriculture declined while healthcare and retail grew. However, the report suffers from numerous inaccuracies regarding specific data points. For instance, the student states that the agriculture department started at five million jobs in 1960, whereas the graph indicates approximately six million. Furthermore, the description of healthcare and retail in the final paragraph is vague and contains inaccurate figures, such as 'healtcare satred with about 2 millions'. The development of ideas is hampered by these imprecise readings and minor omissions in tracing the exact trajectory of the lines over the four benchmark years.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is structured into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed and confusing. The student attempts to use cohesive devices and transition phrases like 'To commence with', 'initially', and 'On the other hand', but these are executed awkwardly. Referencing and linking within sentences are frequently faulty, such as in the sentence: 'the manufacturing sector was provided 15 million of jobs then in next twenty years it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined till 2020.' This creates a run-on structure with inadequate punctuation and mechanical cohesion, making the flow difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of errors include 'th United States' instead of 'the United States', 'substanially' instead of 'substantially', 'statrted' instead of 'started', and 'inreases' instead of 'increased'. While there are attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'substantially' and 'fluctuations implied by trends', the inaccuracies in spelling (e.g., 'Healtcare', 'retails') and word forms ('retail begin with') indicate a lack of precision. The vocabulary is minimally adequate to describe trends, but errors strain comprehension at times.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The text displays a limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences are frequent, and attempts at complex or compound structures are often faulty and lack proper punctuation, resulting in run-on sentences and comma splices. For example, 'the manufacturing sector was provided 15 million of jobs then in next twenty years it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined till 2020' contains multiple clauses fused together without adequate conjunctions or punctuation. Passive voice usage is also awkward ('was provided 15 million of jobs'). Frequent errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and missing prepositions cause noticeable difficulty for the reader.

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