Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of vacancies in four departments of the economy in th United States over a period of sixty years.

The workforce is presented in millions.

Overall, the graph highlights the manufacturing industry and agriculture industry continually declined, while both healthcare and retail were substanially growing between 1960 and 2020.

To commence with, initially in 1960, manufacturing sector was provided 15 million of jobs then in next twenty years it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined till 2020. The agriculture department statrted at five million jobs in 1960 later it declined and remained same for 40 years next 20 years it slightly down.

On the other hand, Healtcare and retails sectors significantly inreases and leveled off in 2020. In 1960 healtcare satred with about 2 millions and retail begin with 5 millions from 1980 to 2020 there were increases double in number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to make comparisons. An overview is provided, noting that manufacturing and agriculture declined while healthcare and retail grew. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data compared to the actual figures in the prompt. For instance, the student states that manufacturing started at 15 million in 1960 and rose to 20 million, which is correct, but later reports agriculture starting at 5 million (it was 6 million) and healthcare starting at 2 million (it was actually around 2 million, which is close). Furthermore, the data description lacks precision in places, such as 'Healtcare and retails sectors significantly inreases and leveled off in 2020', which misreads the retail trend slightly as it continued rising to 16 million. Overall, the task is addressed, but the precision of the data is occasionally flawed, placing it within Band 5.5 to 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into four paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs covering the declining and growing sectors respectively. Logical sequencing is attempted using transitional phrases such as 'Overall', 'To commence with', and 'On the other hand'. However, the progression within the paragraphs is somewhat clumsy and mechanical. Cohesive devices are occasionally inaccurate or awkwardly deployed, such as 'To commence with, initially in 1960...', and paragraphing is underdeveloped. Referencing and linking between sentences feel strained at times, particularly in the final paragraph where the sentences run together in terms of logic. These issues prevent the response from achieving a higher score, matching the criteria for Band 5.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts some less common vocabulary items such as 'vacancies', 'workforce', and 'substanially growing', but control is inconsistent. There are several spelling mistakes ('th United States', 'substanially', 'statrted', 'Healtcare', 'retails', 'inreases', 'satred', 'begin' instead of 'began'), and word choices are occasionally awkward or imprecise ('departments of the economy' instead of 'sectors', 'was provided 15 million of jobs'). The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but the frequency of spelling and lexical errors restricts the score to Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing sector was provided 15 million of jobs' (incorrect passive voice), 'it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined' (run-on sentence with comma splice), 'remained same for 40 years next 20 years it slightly down' (missing verbs and prepositions), and 'there were increases double in number' (unnatural phrasing). Punctuation is also erratic. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from reaching Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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