Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of vacancies in four departments of the economy in the United States over a period of sixty years.

The workforce is presented in millions.

Overall, the graph highlights that the manufacturing industry and agriculture industry continually declined, while both healthcare and retail were substanially growing between 1960 and 2020.

To commence with, initially in 1960, manufacturing sector was providing 15 million of jobs then next twenty years it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined till 2020. The agriculture department statrted at five million jobs in 1960 later it declined and remained the same for 40 years next 20 years it slightly down.

On the other hand, Healtcare and retail sectors significantly inreases and leveled off in 2020. In 1960 healtcare satred with about 2 million and retail begin with 5 million from 1980 to 2020 there were increases double in number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors over the 60-year period. An appropriate overview is provided, highlighting the contrasting long-term trends of manufacturing and agriculture versus healthcare and retail. Key data points are generally accurate, such as noting that the manufacturing sector started at 15 million in 1960 and peaked around 20 million in 1980 before declining. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and generalisations in data reporting, such as stating that healthcare and retail leveled off in 2020 when retail continued upward to 16 million. Despite these minor discrepancies, the overall response effectively captures the main trends and satisfies the requirements for a Band 6.5 to 7.0 range. A Band 6.0 is awarded as some parts of the data description are slightly imprecise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Logical sequencing is attempted using transition phrases like 'Overall,' 'To commence with,' and 'On the other hand.' However, paragraphing is somewhat weak, as the body of the text is crammed into a single block of text after the overview rather than being logically split into distinct paragraphs for declining versus growing sectors. Furthermore, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or awkwardly used, such as 'To commence with, initially in 1960.' Referencing and linking within sentences could also be smoother to improve overall progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, such as 'vacancies,' 'workforce,' 'continually declined,' and 'significantly.' There are successful attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'substanially' (though misspelled) and 'leveled off.' However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, including 'substanially,' 'statrted,' 'Healtcare,' 'inreases,' and 'satred.' Additionally, word choice and collocations are occasionally awkward, such as 'providing 15 million of jobs' instead of 'jobs.' The lexical errors do not prevent comprehension, but they restrict the score to a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over tense usage to describe past and ongoing trends (e.g., 'The line graph illustrates... while both healthcare and retail were substanially growing'). However, the text contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues, including run-on sentences and comma splices, such as 'manufacturing sector was providing 15 million of jobs then next twenty years it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined till 2020.' Articles are also missing in places (e.g., 'manufacturing sector'). While communication is not severely impeded, the frequency of errors prevents the grammar score from rising higher.

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