Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The line graph illustrates brief overview about vacancies in four areas of the financial sector between 1960 and 2020 in the US.
Overall, the chart highlights a clear shift of the US economy from the traditional industry towards based on economic employement. The retail and agriculture were rose up massively rather than manufacturing and healthcare are dropped at end of the year. Job were shows in a millions.
To commence with, Production had significantly surged almost 15 millions occupation, very poor positions at healthcare area approximately 2.5 miilions however agriculture and retail had substantial grew about 6 million jobs at 1960. The economic industry in manufacturing had surged in 20 millions, retial and helathcare industry had increased lmost double of previous tenure. Moreover, In Agricultural sector had significantly decreased just half over the lat periods.
On the other hand, Manufacturing was plummet just over 16 millions employement, healthcare also had a similar to 1980's, Agricultural sector had grew steadily in almost 11 millions jobs and retail company had boost the roles about 15 millions. In 2020, Healthcare and retail were lied on the same stage around 15 millions vacancies. Manufacturing again steadily fell in 14 million but there retail was edge up at 1 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The student attempts to cover all sectors presented in the line graph, mentioning manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. However, the task achievement is heavily compromised by severe misinterpretations of the data, inaccurate figures, and confusing phrasing (e.g., stating 'Production had significantly surged almost 15 millions occupation' and confusing trends across different decades). While there is an attempt at an overview, it is largely incomprehensible. Because the data reporting is inaccurate and the main trends are not clearly or correctly highlighted, this falls into the lower bands.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The response is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organization and logical progression are severely disrupted by flawed sentence construction and missing cohesive links. Expressions like 'To commence with' and 'On the other hand' are misused or fail to connect ideas logically. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it very difficult for the reader to follow which year or sector is being discussed. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is faulty and mechanical throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very limited and frequently inaccurate. The student attempts less common items such as 'employement', 'occupations', and 'tenure', but these are used incorrectly in context. There are numerous word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'retial and helathcare industry had increased lmost double' and 'there retail was edge up'. Spelling errors are also present ('miilions', 'retial'), and vocabulary limitations significantly impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. There are very few error-free sentences, and basic structures are frequently mangled. Examples of severe errors include 'Manufacturing was plummet just over 16 millions employement' and 'Agricultural sector had grew steadily'. Tense usage is inconsistent and often inappropriate for historical graph data. The wide range of errors frequently causes strain and confusion for the reader.
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