Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of vacancies in four departments of the economy in the United States over a period of sixty years.

The workforce is presented in millions.

Overall, the graph highlights that the manufacturing industry and agriculture industry continually declined, while both healthcare and retail were substantially growing between 1960 and 2020.

To commence with, initially in 1960, the manufacturing sector was providing 15 million of jobs then next twenty years it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined till 2020. The agriculture department statrted at five million jobs in 1960 later it declined and remained the same for 40 years next 20 years it slightly down.

On the other hand, Healtcare and retail sectors significantly increased and leveled off in 2020. In 1960 healtcare satred with about 2 million and retail began with 5 million from 1980 to 2020 there were increases double in number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student covers all parts of the task by reporting the main trends and making comparisons between the four sectors. An overview is successfully provided in the third sentence: 'Overall, the graph highlights that the manufacturing industry and agriculture industry continually declined, while both healthcare and retail were substantially growing between 1960 and 2020.' However, there are some inaccurate data details; for instance, the student states that manufacturing 'continually declined till 2020', whereas the graph shows an increase between 1960 and 1980 (rising from 15 to 20 million). Similarly, the statement that agriculture 'remained the same for 40 years' overlooks the nuance in the data. Because key trends are identified but contain some misreadings of the data, the score reflects a solid effort that falls just short of complete accuracy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into clear paragraphs, starting with an introduction and overview, followed by body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Cohesive devices are attempted using phrases like 'To commence with', 'after that', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, sentences in the body paragraphs run together without adequate punctuation or conjunctions, creating run-on structures such as '...providing 15 million of jobs then next twenty years it slightly rose up to 20 million after that, it continually declined till 2020.' Paragraphing is used, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs is occasionally strained.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms related to economic sectors and trends such as 'vacancies', 'workforce', 'industry', 'substantially growing', and 'significantly increased'. However, there are several word-choice and collocation errors, as well as spelling mistakes (e.g., 'statrted', 'Healtcare', 'satred'). Expressions like 'providing 15 million of jobs' and 'increases double in number' are awkward and unnatural. The vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the general message, but frequent lexical inaccuracies prevent it from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and introductory prepositional phrases. However, grammatical accuracy is weak. There are numerous run-on sentences and comma splices, such as 'The agriculture department statrted at five million jobs in 1960 later it declined and remained the same for 40 years next 20 years it slightly down.' Preposition and article errors are also frequent (e.g., 'in four departments' instead of 'sectors', 'retail began with 5 million'). While communication is generally maintained, frequent structural errors and a lack of reliable punctuation mean that error-free sentences are in the minority.

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