Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph tracks the information about the numbers of employment in four sectors of economy in united stated,furthermore it tracks the data between the years of 1960 and 2020.

Overall,line graphs tracks the data of employments in four sectors of economy , such as, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.

As given in the line graph the healthcare is at its low with 2 million jobs in 1960 whereas the maufacturing is at its peak with 15 million jobs . Moreover healthcare increased with 3 millions of employment and became 5 million in 1980 , futhermore the manufacturing touch the peak of employment with 20 million , this jump in the field was the highest , and by upcoming years the downfall of manufacturing started and the increment of healthcare where healthcare reached at its peak of 16 million employment in 2020 , where as the maufacturing dramatically falls from 20 million to 13 million in 2020 .

Where the retail increased the employment steadily with the peak of 16 million in 2020 and the lowest of 6 million in 1960 , futheremore the agriculture was stable in 1960 with 6 million of jobs but in untill 1980 the job market of agriculture drops to 4 million and falls to 3 million in 2020 .

In conclusion the healthcare and retail got stability and crossed maufacturing in 2020 and the agriculture faced the downtrend in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the prompt (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) and attempts to report their main trends and features between 1960 and 2020. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that healthcare was at its low with 2 million jobs in 1960, which is correct, but the overview section is repetitive and essentially restates the prompt twice in the first two paragraphs without properly synthesising the main trends. Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise, such as claiming agriculture dropped to 4 million before falling to 3 million. Nevertheless, a clear overview is attempted, and key comparisons—such as healthcare and retail overtaking manufacturing by 2020—are present, placing this performance at a Band 6.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is arranged into five paragraphs, including a brief introduction, an overly repetitive second introductory paragraph, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'moreover', 'furthermore', and 'in conclusion' are used to connect ideas, but their overuse and mechanical nature (e.g., beginning multiple sentences with 'furthermore') detract from the flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but the separation of ideas lacks logical progression, particularly with the redundant second paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall structure feels somewhat disjointed due to run-on sentences and punctuation issues, which aligns with Band 5.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, featuring appropriate sector-specific terms such as 'employment', 'sectors of economy', 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, there is a limited range of less common lexical items, and word choices are occasionally repetitive or imprecise, such as 'downfall of manufacturing', 'increment of healthcare', and 'got stability'. Spelling errors are present, including 'united stated', 'maufacturing', and 'untill'. Because the vocabulary is repetitive and contains noticeable errors that occasionally make reading awkward, it meets the criteria for Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many sentences are overly long, run-on, and lack proper punctuation (e.g., using commas before conjunctions incorrectly or omitting full stops). There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the healthcare is', 'the line graph tracks... furthermore it tracks'), missing articles ('in four sectors of economy'), and preposition misuse ('in united stated'). While the meaning is usually retrievable, the frequency of structural and punctuation errors prevents the score from reaching a higher band, placing it firmly at a Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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