Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph tracks the information about the numbers of employment in four sectors of economy in united states,furthermore it tracks the data between the years of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, The line graphs tracks the data of employments in four sectors of economy , such as, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.

As given in the line graph the healthcare is at its lowest with 2 million jobs in 1960 whereas manufacturing is at its peak with 15 million jobs . Moreover healthcare increased with 3 millions of employment and became 5 million in 1980 , furthermore the manufacturing touch the peak of employment with 20 million , this jump in the field was the highest , and by upcoming years the downfall of manufacturing started and the increment of healthcare where healthcare reached at its peak of 16 million employment in 2020 , where as the manufacturing dramatically falls from 20 million to 13 million in 2020 .

Where the retail increased the employment steadily with the peak of 16 million in 2020 and the lowest of 6 million in 1960 , futheremore the agriculture was stable in 1960 with 6 million of jobs but in untill 1980 the job market of agriculture drops to 4 million and falls to 3 million in 2020 .

In conclusion the healthcare and retail stabilized and crossed manufacturing in 2020 and the agriculture faced the downtrend in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to report the main features and trends over the period from 1960 to 2020. Key data points are mentioned, such as healthcare starting at 2 million and reaching 16 million, and manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, the student states that agriculture was stable with 6 million jobs in 1960 and then dropped to 4 million by 1980, whereas the visual data indicates it was 6 million in 1960 and dropped directly to 3 million. Additionally, the overview is repetitive and largely restates the prompt without clearly summarising the main overarching trends, which limits the score for this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs detailing the trends, and a brief conclusion. However, the progression is sometimes disjointed and repetitive, particularly in the opening sentences where the introduction is essentially repeated in the second paragraph. Cohesive devices are used, but they are frequently repetitive or mechanical, relying heavily on words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'where'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within sentences often breaks down due to run-on structures, making the flow difficult to follow at times.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts to use a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, including terms like 'employment', 'sectors', 'peak', 'downfall', 'increment', and 'dramatically'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, such as 'numbers of employment in four sectors of economy in united states', 'the manufacturing touch the peak', and 'the increment of healthcare'. Word choice is sometimes imprecise, and spelling/capitalisation errors (e.g., 'united states') appear. The vocabulary is adequate to convey basic trends, but lack of precision and recurrent errors keep it at a modest level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are numerous run-on sentences connected loosely by conjunctions and comma splices, such as the lengthy third paragraph which strings multiple clauses together without proper terminal punctuation. Grammatical errors are frequent, including tense inconsistencies and missing articles (e.g., 'the healthcare is at its lowest', 'where the retail increased the employment steadily'). These frequent errors and structural issues cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

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