Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph tracks the information about the number of people employed in four sectors of the economy in the United States; furthermore, it tracks the data between the years of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the line graph tracks the data of employment in four sectors of the economy, such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.

As given in the line graph, healthcare is at its lowest with 2 million jobs in 1960, whereas manufacturing is at its peak with 15 million jobs. Moreover, healthcare increased by 3 million in employment and became 5 million in 1980. Furthermore, manufacturing touched the peak of employment with 20 million. This jump in the field was the highest, and by the upcoming years, the downfall of manufacturing started and the increment of healthcare, where healthcare reached its peak of 16 million employment in 2020, whereas manufacturing dramatically fell from 20 million to 13 million in 2020.

The retail increased the employment steadily, with the peak of 16 million in 2020 and the lowest of 6 million in 1960. Furthermore, agriculture was stable in 1960 with 6 million jobs, but until 1980, the job market of agriculture dropped to 4 million and fell to 3 million in 2020.

In conclusion, healthcare and retail got stability and crossed manufacturing in 2020, and agriculture faced the downtrend in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors across the specified time frame, identifying key trends such as the growth of healthcare and retail, the decline in agriculture, and the peak and subsequent fall of manufacturing. However, the overview is repetitive, essentially restating the introduction in the second paragraph rather than highlighting the broader trends. Furthermore, some data points are imprecise or slightly misstated, such as claiming agriculture dropped to 4 million by 1980 when the visual data shows it at 3 million. The student successfully highlights major comparisons, such as healthcare and retail surpassing manufacturing by 2020, but the overall development of ideas would benefit from greater precision and a more synthesized overview. Overall, the response addresses the prompt adequately, earning a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The report has a recognizable overall progression, moving from an introduction and overview into body paragraphs detailing individual sectors, and finishing with a concluding sentence. However, the paragraphing is awkward; the second paragraph merely repeats the overview, creating redundancy. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical and repetitive, such as the heavy reliance on 'furthermore' and 'whereas' to link clauses and sentences. Referencing is generally clear, but the logical flow between sentences within body paragraphs feels somewhat disjointed due to abrupt shifts from one data point to another. These limitations place the response firmly in the Band 6.0 category.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully employing topic-specific terms such as 'employed', 'employment', 'sectors of the economy', and 'job market'. There are some successful attempts to use less common vocabulary or collocation, such as 'dramatically fell' and 'downtrend'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation inaccuracies that lower the quality, such as 'got stability' instead of 'achieved stability' or 'became stable', and 'the increment of healthcare' instead of 'the growth of healthcare'. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate, but the lexical control is limited enough to prevent the score from reaching Band 7.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and subordinate structures like 'whereas manufacturing is at its peak' and 'where healthcare reached its peak'. However, there is a lack of consistent control over grammatical structures and tense consistency. For instance, the student switches inappropriately between past and present tenses ('tracks', 'is at its lowest', 'increased', 'touched'). There are also awkward phrasing structures and minor punctuation slips throughout the text. While these errors do not impede overall communication, the frequency of grammatical lapses prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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