Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Looking from an overall perspective it is apparent that jobs in healthcare sectors were increased and manufauturing sectots have highest number of employment in 1980 and 2000 and lowest jobs in agricuture sector.

Firstly, the number of jobs in manufacturing sectors was at 15 millions an it was rose to 20 millions jobs in 1980 after that the jobs were reduced and reached to approximately 13 millions jobs in 2020. Moreover, jobs in retail sectors were at nearly 6 millions jobs after that jobs were soar up and reached to approximately 16 millions jobs in 2020.

Secondly, the agricultre sectors were deteriorate the number of jobs were similiar to retail sector in 1960 after that number of employment were declined with the passage of time andreached at nearly to 2 millions jobs. Futhermore the healthcare department was continously grew up the number of employment were plunged up and reached at 16 millions post in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to provide an overview, noting that healthcare jobs increased while manufacturing peaked in 1980 and 2000, and agriculture remained the lowest. However, the overview is somewhat clunky and lacks precision. Key features and comparisons are generally reported, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and retail/healthcare reaching 16 million in 2020. There are some minor inaccuracies or awkward phrasings in data interpretation, but the overall task is addressed satisfactorily. This aligns well with Band 6.0 descriptors, where all parts are addressed and main trends are highlighted, even though some areas lack full development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, beginning with an introduction and overview, followed by two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'Firstly', 'after that', 'Moreover', 'Secondly', and 'Furthermore'. However, the referencing and punctuation are faulty in places, leading to run-on sentences and a mechanical feel to the cohesion (e.g., '15 millions an it was rose', 'agriculture sectors were deteriorate the number of jobs were similiar'). Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion lacks smooth transitions. This fits the Band 5.5 to 6.0 profile, earning a Band 6.0 as the overall arrangement is coherent despite mechanical cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for a data task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'sectors', 'employment', and 'decline'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors ('manufauturing', 'sectots', 'agricuture', 'agricultre', 'similiar', 'Futhermore', 'continously') and word-formation errors ('were increased' instead of 'increased', 'were soar up', 'were deteriorate'). While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the basic message, these frequent lexical and spelling errors place it firmly at Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with tense and voice mixing (e.g., 'jobs were soar up', 'the healthcare department was continously grew up', 'jobs were reduced and reached to'). Run-on sentences connected incorrectly with commas or missing conjunctions are common (e.g., 'agricultre sectors were deteriorate the number of jobs were similiar...'). These errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from reaching Band 6.0, matching the Band 5.0 description instead.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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