Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the data of employment numbers in four sectors; manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the United States economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and health care increased steadily over the period of time, whereas the manufacturing employment reached its peak and fell dramatically over the time.

In 1960 the manufacturing sector was at its peak with 15 million workers and reached 20 million in 1980 (20 years) , however this job followed a downtrend from 1980 to 2020.

On the other hand the employment rate of retail and healthcare increased steadily over the period of time . In 1960 the retail sector increased from around 6 million employment to 16 million employment in 2020,whereas healthcare sector started the employment from around 3 million and managed to meet retail sector employment till 2020.In addition agriculture was at it peak of 6 million in 1960 and followed a downtrend over the time and reached around 4 million in 1980, in addition it hovered around 3 to 4 million from 2000 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview effectively captures the principal trends, noting the upward trajectory of retail and healthcare alongside the peak and subsequent decline in manufacturing. Key data points are correctly cited, such as manufacturing starting at 15 million in 1960, peaking at 20 million in 1980, and retail reaching 16 million in 2020. There are minor inaccuracies in secondary figures, such as agriculture reaching 4 million in 1980 when the visual data indicates approximately 3 million, but this does not detract from the overall clarity and adequacy of the response. The requirements of Task 1 are thoroughly fulfilled, warranting a solid band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into a logical progression, starting with an introductory statement, followed by an overarching summary paragraph, and concluding with detailed body sentences. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'Overall,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In addition,' although some transitions are slightly repetitive or mechanically linked, like the repeated use of 'in addition.' Paragraphing could be enhanced by separating the detailed body points into distinct paragraphs rather than grouping multiple sectors into a single dense block. Nevertheless, referencing is generally clear, and the overall arrangement maintains logical continuity throughout the piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic trends such as 'employment numbers,' 'downtrend,' 'increased steadily,' and 'peak.' There are some awkward phrasings and word choices, such as 'employment rate of retail' instead of 'employment in the retail sector' and 'managed to meet retail sector employment till 2020.' Spelling is generally accurate, though minor errors in phrasing and lexical collocation occur. The vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate the main features clearly, but lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher band scores.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination through clauses introduced by 'whereas' and 'however.' However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward punctuation placements, such as unnecessary spaces before commas and parentheses (e.g., '(20 years) , however'). Run-on sentences and structural slips also appear, such as 'In 1960 the retail sector increased from around 6 million employment to 16 million employment in 2020,whereas healthcare sector started the employment from around 3 million...' Despite these errors, meaning is generally preserved and communication is rarely impeded, supporting a band score of 6.0.

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