Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

This graph illustrates the information about the numbers of jobs in 4 sectors od the economy from 1960 to 2020. The four sector given in graph Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. The vacancy in healthcare sector is increase day by day in graph. the lone of healthcare upward. Agriculture department rise first in 10 years then goes downward. The retail job sector also goes upward likes agriculture department. Industrial manufacturing job sector goes upward and then falls regularly. The jobs section of healthcare and the retail gives more economy effect of the country. Other two sector are degrading. Hospitals and markets are become important thing for every person in the life .Everyone can choose this sector because it gives more paying sector in the economy of a country. When the all job sector goes downward in the graph the economy of the country become weak. The country cannot grow rapidly. In this graph the two job sector can grow and other two can falls regularly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe the graph showing jobs in four sectors between 1960 and 2020, but it suffers from several major limitations in task fulfillment. Firstly, the student fails to provide a clear, coherent overview of the main trends. Secondly, the descriptions of the specific data points are inaccurate or overly vague in places (for instance, claiming 'The vacancy in healthcare sector is increase day by day' or describing trends colloquially rather than analytically). Furthermore, the student includes personal speculation and commentary on the country's economy ('When the all job sector goes downward in the graph the economy of the country become weak'), which is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report. While it attempts to cover all four sectors, the lack of accurate data reporting and the inclusion of extraneous opinions pull the score down.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The organization of the response is extremely weak. The entire text consists of a single block paragraph without any logical divisions or clear paragraphing strategies. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, resulting in a disjointed flow of ideas. Sentences are placed consecutively without clear transitional links to guide the reader through the data comparisons. For example, moving abruptly from manufacturing to healthcare and then into broad economic speculation disrupts the progression of information. Referencing is also problematic, as pronouns and demonstratives are poorly managed. Overall, the structural framework fails to meet the criteria for a well-organized report.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and frequently inaccurate. The student relies on elementary words and phrases like 'goes upward', 'falls regularly', and 'thing for every person'. There are numerous word-form and lexical collocation errors, such as 'numbers of jobs in 4 sectors od the economy', 'The four sector given in graph', and 'gives more paying sector'. Attempts to use higher-level academic vocabulary fail due to incorrect collocations and awkward phrasing, such as 'more economy effect of the country'. The limited and flawed lexical range restricts precision and causes strain for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak, with frequent, intrusive errors that often impede comprehension. The response lacks a variety of complex sentence structures, relying instead on simple, repetitive sentence frames. There are numerous basic grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The four sector given in graph Manufacturing, retail...', 'the retail and the retail gives'), missing auxiliary verbs ('The vacancy in healthcare sector is increase'), and incorrect prepositions ('in graph'). Tense usage is also inconsistent throughout the text. These persistent errors demonstrate poor control over basic and complex grammatical forms alike.

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