Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The linear representation, depict the infformation about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between year 1960 and 2020
In an overview, it is evident that the manufacturing was at peak in the beginning years. The data is fluctuating and the information is discussed in the upcoming paragraph
To commence with,as the information given in the chart the healtcare sector is continiously rising from beginning year it was near about at 2 million jobs and at the final year it rose to 16 millon jobs. Agriculure is seems to be less interesed in future sinnce it is been decreasing from beginning years in year 1960 there were about 6 million of farmers and in year 1980 there were near about 3 million farmers then the numbers remaijn same till 2000 then in 2020 the numbers were decreased and just 2 million farmers were left.
Moving ahead with remaining details, the grouth of retailers seem to be same as healtcare because they bot continiously rise from 1960 to 2020 at the year 1960 the number of jobs were 6 million, afterthat in year 2020 it rose to 16 million. In case of manufacturing as i mentioned in an overview it is fluctuated in year 1960 there were 15 million jobs it increanses till 1980 to 20 million the it drops to 13 million in year 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student attempts to cover the main features of the line graph, noting trends across the four economic sectors. The overview states that manufacturing was at a peak initially, though it misses a broader summary of the overall changes across the full period. Key data points are generally reported, such as healthcare rising to 16 million and agriculture dropping to 2 million. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data; for example, the retail sector started at 6 million in 1960 and reached 16 million in 2020, but the student states it rose similarly to healthcare without fully clarifying the intermediate points. Overall, the task is addressed, but the development and accuracy of the details place it at a Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is structured into paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression is somewhat hindered by mechanical and faulty transitions, such as 'Moving ahead with remaining details' and informal conversational asides like 'as i mentioned in an overview'. Cohesive devices are sometimes used awkwardly or inaccurately, and punctuation errors disrupt the flow between sentences. Paragraphing is present, but the logical arrangement within paragraphs requires better control. This performance corresponds to a Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for a basic summary of economic sectors, employing terms like 'sector', 'economy', 'jobs', and 'farmers'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, such as 'infformation', 'healtcare', 'continiously', 'millon', 'Agriculure', 'interesed', 'sinnce', 'remaijn', 'grouth', 'bot', and 'increanses'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and these frequent inaccuracies impede communication and restrict the score to a Band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, run-on sentences, and punctuation failures, such as missing periods or commas between independent clauses (e.g., 'The linear representation, depict the infformation...', 'To commence with,as the information given in the chart the healtcare sector...'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are also problematic. Because errors are frequent and often cause difficulty for the reader, this merits a Band 4.5.
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