Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provided information about the job numbers in four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 1920.
Overall The manufacturing sector was on peak point in start and dramatically decreased later while healthcare and retail sectors gradually increased.
In 1960 manufacturing sector hit the highest figure of jobs which was about 15 million while healthcare sector was on the lowest point with 2 million jobs, whileOther sectors was nearly about 5 million numbers.
In 2000 manufacturing sector followed downward trend and it was on 16 million, furthermore healthcare and retail sectors to increased slightly and reached respectively 11 and 15 million jobs.
In the final year agriculture sector touched the minimum jobs number which was about 2 millions and healthcare and retail sectors culminated at 15.5 million jobs. while manufacturing sector was on
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response makes an attempt to summarise the main features of the graph, noting the general trends for manufacturing, healthcare, and retail. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that manufacturing was at 16 million in 2000 (actually around 17 million) and that healthcare and retail culminated at 15.5 million in 2020 (retail was 16 million, healthcare was 16 million). Furthermore, the response trails off unfinished at the end ("while manufacturing sector was on"). Crucially, the text falls short of the 150-word minimum requirement at 136 words, which pulls down the overall score for this criterion. Consequently, Task Achievement is penalised for incomplete development and data inaccuracies.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay attempts a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing specific years, and a concluding snapshot. However, paragraphing is poorly handled, with several very short, disjointed sentences that lack sufficient linking. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes awkward, such as starting sentences abruptly with "In 1960" or "In 2000" without smooth transitions. The lack of an integrated overview in the introduction and the unfinished sentence at the very end disrupt the overall flow and progression of the writing. Reference words are sometimes vague, leading to mechanical progression rather than natural cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like "jobs," "sectors," "highest," and "lowest." There are noticeable lexical inaccuracies, such as "job numbers" instead of "employment figures" or "number of jobs," and "on peak point" instead of "at its peak." Attempts to use less common vocabulary are limited, and word choice often lacks precision. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the restricted range of vocabulary and frequent collocation errors keep this criterion at Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as "The line graph provided information" (tense shift error, should be 'provides'), "manufacturing sector was on peak point in start" (missing articles and prepositions), and "whileOther sectors was nearly about" (capitalisation error and plural/singular agreement error). Punctuation is also weak, particularly the lack of full stops or commas between clauses. The frequency of structural and grammatical errors occasionally impedes smooth reading.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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