Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the rate of employment in millions which is evolved around Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the outspread data depicts that the manufacturing sector is at the peak then gradual downward trend is observed. Moreover, Healthcare sector the number of employment increases dramatically same increament is observed in retail sector while employment in agriculture sector declined.

In 1960,15 million jobs in manufacturing sector is offered, the highest employer sector and its in peak in 1980 but gradually the number of jobs decline and reaches around 13 million in 2020. In contrast, Healthcare sector creates a dramatic increament in employment approx a eightfold increase: reaches to 16 million in 2020 from 2 million.Similarly, Retail sector also shows a continous increment in employment and created almost 16 million jobs in 2020 while agriculture sector declines over the time and plateaued in the end .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student successfully highlights the main features and trends of the four economic sectors over the sixty-year period. An overview is attempted in the second paragraph, capturing the overall trajectory of manufacturing, healthcare, retail, and agriculture. Key data points are generally accurate, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising to 16 million in 2020. However, some minor inaccuracies exist, such as stating that 15 million jobs were offered in 1960 for manufacturing (which is correct) while describing phrasing awkwardly. The response satisfies all basic requirements of Task Achievement, though the overview lacks some precision in summarizing the broader economic shift.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is divided into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and a body paragraph containing the specific data details. Progression is generally logical, moving from a general summary to specific details about each sector. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'Moreover', 'In contrast', and 'Similarly', though some are mechanically deployed or grammatically awkward (e.g., 'the outspread data depicts'). Paragraphing is present, but grouping all detailed data into one dense paragraph limits the clarity of the overall structure. Referencing is mostly clear, but the flow is occasionally interrupted by clumsy transitions and punctuation issues.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'outspread', 'gradual downward trend', 'dramatic increment', and 'plateaued'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation (e.g., 'rate of employment' instead of 'number of jobs', 'evolved around' instead of 'involved', 'increament' instead of 'increment', and 'eightfold increase' which miscalculates the data since 2 million to 16 million is an eightfold increase mathematically, but the phrasing around it is clumsy). Spelling errors like 'increament' and 'continous' detract from the lexical score, placing it firmly at a band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and missing prepositions (e.g., 'Healthcare sector the number of employment increases', 'manufacturing sector is offered, the highest employer sector and its in peak in 1980'). Punctuation is faulty, notably comma splices and run-on sentences (e.g., 'In 1960,15 million jobs in manufacturing sector is offered, the highest employer sector and its in peak in 1980 but gradually the number of jobs decline...'). While meaning is generally recoverable, the frequency of grammatical slips prevents the response from reaching a band 6.

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