Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

This chart ilustrate the number of differnt work field of the economy in America between 1960 to 2020

to commence with, in 1960 retail and agriculture start from little more tham 5 million after 60 year in 2020 retail sector increase by 10 million but the agriculture are decrese by allmost 3 to 4 millions.

furthermore, the healthcare is began at between 0 to 5 millions at last it was increase and cross 15 million . In 1960 manfacturing sector stands at 15 millions after 20 years in 1980 it was all most touch 20 million but after that we see suddenly decrease in 2020 it is less then 15 millions and more then 10 million.

conclustion,In Manufacturing and healthcare we see the little decrease but retail and agriculture we see a good boom . So In 2 sector we see good increase and other 2 field there are little decrese.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For example, the student states that the retail sector increased by 10 million, whereas it actually went from 6 million to 16 million (an increase of 10 million, which is technically correct, but the phrasing and handling of numbers are clumsy). More problematically, the conclusion contains factual errors, claiming there was a decrease in manufacturing and healthcare, whereas healthcare experienced a massive surge from 2 million to 16 million. The overview is weak and confused, leading to a Band 4.0 performance for this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks proper paragraphing, being presented as a single block of text with arbitrary line breaks. While the student attempts to use transition markers like 'to commence with', 'furthermore', and 'conclustion', punctuation is severely neglected, with sentences running together without periods or capital letters. There is no clear overall progression of ideas, and referencing is faulty, which makes the text disjointed and hard to follow. This aligns with the Band 4.0 descriptor.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors such as 'ilustrate', 'differnt', 'tham', 'decrese', 'manfacturing', and 'conclustion'. Words are often misused or awkwardly formed, such as 'work field' instead of 'sector' and 'good boom'. The lexical range is extremely limited and inadequate for an academic task, restricting the score to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. There is a very limited range of sentence structures, and almost every sentence contains noticeable errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions (e.g., 'retail and agriculture start from little more tham 5 million', 'the healthcare is began at between 0 to 5 millions'). Punctuation is largely absent, with comma splices and missing terminal punctuation. These frequent errors cause considerable strain for the reader, placing the response at Band 4.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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