Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph represents jobs data in four catgerioes in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare sector had significant variation in the US employment of over the period of time which inclined rapdily. Howerver, manufacturing sector was decreased since from the started point.

To begin with, the manfactuing industry stood at 15 millions jobs avaibility which further increased by 5 million. But, this trend goes significantly down around 12 million in 2020.

whereas, agriculutre had so declined which started from more than 5 million to 2 million between 1960 to 2020.

Howerver, the number jobs in both retail and heathcare sector had major increased.6 million employed were working in retail which raised upto 15 million in 2020. Simarily patter was fellowed by healthcare which was around 3 million in 1960 and then increased with 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four sectors, noting that manufacturing peaked in 1980 before declining, agriculture decreased steadily, and retail and healthcare saw significant growth. However, there are notable data inaccuracies. For instance, the student states that manufacturing decreased 'since from the started point' (whereas it rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980) and writes that healthcare 'increased with 15 million'. Additionally, the word count is 141 words, which falls slightly short of the 150-word minimum requirement. This negatively impacts the completeness of the task. Consequently, the score reflects these inaccuracies and the length penalty.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, showing an attempt at a logical structure. However, paragraphing is basic and transitions are often awkward or mechanical, such as 'To begin with' and repetitive use of 'Howerver'. Cohesive devices are used inappropriately at times, and referencing is occasionally unclear, which disrupts the flow of the response. Overall arrangement shows some basic organization, but progression is hindered by these structural and cohesive flaws.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text (e.g., 'catgerioes', 'rapdily', 'manfactuing', 'avaibility', 'agriculutre', 'heathcare', 'Simarily', 'patter', 'fellowed'). While the student attempts some less common vocabulary related to economic sectors and trends, the high frequency of lexical and spelling mistakes impedes clear communication in several places, restricting the score to this band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at more complex structures frequently result in serious grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing sector was decreased since from the started point' and '6 million employed were working'. Punctuation and tense usage are also inconsistent. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and mean that error-free sentences are the exception rather than the rule.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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