Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The given line graph compares four major sectors contributing to the United States job market from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing was the major, retail and agriculture were minor, and healthcare was the smallest employer in 1960, but over the years, manufacturing and agriculture dropped their share in the job market, and retail and healthcare became the largest contributors by creating around 16 million jobs each.
Initially, manufacturing held the top position for employmnet generating in the US economy from 1960 to 1980 by creating 20 million jobs in 1980, but it started to sharply reduce its share in the market and came to the third position by creating around 13 million jobs in 2020.
Moreover, healthcare was the least contributing sector in the employment market in 1960, which became one of the largest contributors in 2020. Also, the agriculture sector along with the retail was creating around 6 million jobs in 1960, but it plummeted badly and became the least employer creating only 2 million jobs in the US market in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The student successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting the main trends and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors from 1960 to 2020. The overview provided in the second paragraph captures the major trajectory, noting how manufacturing and agriculture declined while retail and healthcare grew to become the largest employers. Key data points, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and dropping to 13 million in 2020, are accurately cited and supported by the visual data. The progression of healthcare from the smallest employer to tying for the largest with retail is clearly highlighted. Minor imprecision regarding 1960 figures (e.g., stating healthcare was the smallest when it started at 2 million) does not detract from a solid overall presentation. This response comfortably achieves a Band 7.0 for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organised, featuring a clear introduction, an overarching summary paragraph, and distinct body paragraphs detailing specific sectoral trends. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well to guide the reader through the data, employing transition markers such as 'Initially', 'Moreover', and 'Also'. However, some minor awkwardness in referencing and linking occurs, such as 'along with the retail was creating around 6 million jobs in 1960, but it plummeted badly', where the pronoun reference 'it' lacks absolute clarity in context. Paragraphing is handled appropriately, ensuring an overall logical progression of information throughout the text. This aligns well with the Band 6.5 or 7.0 descriptors, and given the clear logical flow, a Band 7.0 is well-deserved.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task 1 response, including terms like 'sectors', 'contributing', 'share in the job market', and 'plummeted badly'. Less common lexical items are attempted with varying degrees of success, such as 'employmnet' (a typographical error) and slightly unnatural collocations like 'employmnet generating'. Phrases like 'sharply reduce its share' and 'least contributing sector' convey meaning clearly, though the range remains somewhat standard rather than sophisticated. Spelling errors are minimal, and while occasional inaccuracies occur, they do not impede communication. This reflects a solid Band 6.5 performance, rounded to 6.5 based on standard descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The response exhibits a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating subordinate clauses effectively (e.g., 'while retail and healthcare became the largest contributors by creating around 16 million jobs each'). There are frequent error-free sentences, demonstrating good control of grammar. However, a few minor errors and awkward phrasings persist, such as 'for employmnet generating' and the slight confusion in coordination with 'along with the retail was creating'. Punctuation is generally sound, and despite occasional minor slips, communication is never impeded. The grammatical control is solid and supports a Band 7.0 rating.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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