Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph tracks the information about computation of occupations in four areas of the economy in the US during 1960 to 2020.

Looking from an overall perspective, sectors such as retail and healthcare gradually increased over the years, while the section of manufacturing marginally increased and then it showed down fall throughout the year. Whereas, agriculture saw a decrease across the period.

Firstly, retail illustrated the highest job nearly starting at 5 millions in 1960, and it increased dramatically to reach a peak of approximately 15 millions by 2020. while healthcare remarkably similar and stable upward trend with the retail but it started from almost 3 millions in 1960 and grew slightly close to 10 millions in 1980 and it finishing around 15 millions across the 2020.

Secondly, remaining two areas of employment. Manufacturing initially demonstrated marginally growth started at 15 millions and went up to 20 millions during 1960 -1980. Afterward, it dramatically decreased and went down around 14 millions throughout the year ([redacted phone]). In contrast, agriculture starting at roughly 5 millions but it gradually deceased and stood at around 3 millions until 1960 to 1980. Subsequently, it started to declined again and it reached 1 millions jobs across the 30 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student covers all four economic sectors and attempts to provide an overview, meeting the basic requirements of Task 1. However, there are several data inaccuracies in the body paragraphs. For instance, the student states that retail started at 'nearly 5 millions in 1960' and peaked at 'approximately 15 millions by 2020', whereas retail actually grew from 6 million to 16 million, while healthcare started at 2 million and also reached 16 million by 2020. Furthermore, the description of agriculture contains contradictory and confused information regarding the years and values (stating it stood at around 3 millions until 1960 to 1980, and later reached 1 million jobs across 30 years). While the main trends are generally captured, the misreporting of specific data points prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'In contrast', and 'Subsequently' are employed to structure the text. However, paragraphing and logical progression are sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and confusing transitions. For example, the overview abruptly links manufacturing and agriculture with weak connectors ('while the section of manufacturing... Whereas, agriculture saw...'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the mechanical use of cohesive markers detracts from natural flow, placing this response firmly in the mid-range for cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student attempts to use a range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'gradually increased', 'dramatically', 'peak', and 'declined'. However, there are numerous lexical errors, awkward collocations, and incorrect word forms throughout the text. Examples include 'computation of occupations', 'section of manufacturing', 'showed down fall', 'marginally growth', and 'decreased' spelled as 'deceasased'. These inaccuracies indicate a limited control of less common vocabulary and word formation, which occasionally causes strain for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is relatively low. There are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions. Examples include 'Looking from an overall perspective' (awkward participle phrase), 'retail illustrated the highest job nearly starting' (ungrammatical structure), 'while healthcare remarkably similar and stable' (missing verb), and 'agriculture starting at roughly... but it gradually deceased' (fragmented/run-on clauses). These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a lack of firm control over complex grammar.

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