Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the graph demonstrates the information about a significant jobs in four sectors of the economy such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare in the US between [redacted phone].

As an overall trend, it could be seen that number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US. In 1960, it is clear that the economy of manufacturing sector was on top about 15 inspite of others while, Retail and agriculture start with same point which is 6 moreover, healthcare was start with just about 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is severely under-length, containing only 86 words compared to the required 150 words. Because of this, it fails to present a fully developed overview or report all the main features of the graph. The writer attempts an introduction and an opening overview statement, mentioning manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. However, the summary breaks off mid-sentence and fails to describe the progression of the trends over the 60-year period, omitting key data points such as the 2000 and 2020 figures for most sectors. This results in a minimal response to the task requirements, matching the descriptors for Band 4.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text is disjointed and incomplete. While the writer attempts to introduce the graph and state an overall trend, the second paragraph cuts off abruptly with the incomplete clause 'in the US'. Paragraphing is not properly utilised, as the text consists of two fragments rather than a well-structured essay body. Cohesive devices are minimal and basic, such as 'In 1960', 'inspite of', and 'moreover', but these are used awkwardly. There is no clear logical progression of ideas because the response terminates prematurely, demonstrating severe flaws in organisation and coherence, consistent with Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical range is extremely limited and repetitive. The student uses basic vocabulary such as 'demonstrates', 'significant', 'jobs', 'sectors', and 'economy'. There are notable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations, such as 'the economy of manufacturing sector was on top' and 'Retail and agriculture start with same point'. Word formation and spelling errors are also present, including 'inspite'. Because the vocabulary is basic, repetitive, and occasionally strained, it warrants a Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical structures attempted are very basic and frequently inaccurate. The response contains severe grammatical errors and missing elements, such as 'the graph demonstrates the information about a significant jobs' (unnecessary article and preposition misuse), 'number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US' (incomplete sentence fragment), and 'healthcare was start with' (incorrect passive/active blend). Punctuation and sentence boundaries are poorly controlled. Due to the constant presence of grammatical errors and lack of a variety of complex structures, the performance aligns with Band 4.0.

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