Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the information about the numbers of job in 4 division's of the economy in the USA between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the Manufacturing shows rise steadily starting with the first two years then there’s a little downfall providing job to our society, while healthcare and retail are the highest proportion to providing facilities our community and Agriculture are fluctuating respectively.

After analysing the graph, it can be seen that in 1960, manufacturing provide 15 millions jobs to our sector's after a great response of our worker they increases the criteria of jobs converting fifteen to 20 millions. Therefore, Retail starts with least amount of job approximately 5 millions and then runs through to 15 millions and years by years they gave opportunity to peoples to do our smart work as well. Consequently, the healthcare products rose every day by days starting with the around two millions after a successful achievement they jumps to 15 millions.

In contrast, Agriculture are the lowest with the number of jobs beginning with the 5.1 millions provide opportunity to our individuals then fluctuating over the year's.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task by reporting on the four sectors over the given period, but the data presented is frequently inaccurate or confused. For instance, the student states that manufacturing started at 15 million and increased to 20 million (which is correct), but describes retail as starting at 5 million and reaching 15 million, while healthcare started around 2 million and jumped to 15 million. The overview is overly conversational ('providing job to our society') and lacks a precise summary of the main trends. While all four categories are mentioned, the lack of accurate data interpretation and poor data selection places this at Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, providing a basic structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by confusing transitions and a highly conversational tone ('After analysing the graph, it can be seen that...'). Cohesive devices are often used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Therefore' and 'Consequently' in contexts where cause-and-effect relationships do not apply. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph cohesion is weak due to run-on sentences and unclear referencing pronouns like 'they'.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The lexical range is limited and frequently inappropriate for an academic report. The student relies on informal phrasing and unnatural collocations, such as 'little downfall providing job to our society', 'smart work', and 'successful achievement'. There are also numerous word-form errors, including 'division's' instead of 'divisions', 'numbers of job' instead of 'number of jobs', and spelling/morphology slips like 'increases' and 'jumps'. These errors cause strain for the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary suitable for Band 4 or 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex or compound structures result in severe grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Agriculture are the lowest', 'manufacturing provide') and tense inconsistencies ('the Manufacturing shows rise', 'they increases'). Punctuation is frequently neglected, leading to run-on sentences with multiple clauses poorly joined. Frequent grammatical errors impede readability throughout the text.

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