Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of employment in four different fields (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) of the economy in the United States in 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020. Jobs are measured in millions.
Overall, in the healthcare sector jobs increased higher than other three sectors. Whereas jobs decreases in the manufacturing sector, also we can see the emplyment declining in agriculture field as well. While in retail its jobs rapidly increased.
Healthcare field is the most grow industry is seen here its jobs rose from less than 5 million in 1960 above 10 milion in 2000 and then jumps to above 15 million jobs in year 2020 as compared to manufacturing which is seen gradually decreases when eached to peak to 20 million jobs in year 1980, after declined from just above 15 million in 2000 to less than 15 million in year 2020.
Second most jobs rise is in the retail field, its rose from 5 million in 1960 and boubles in year 1980 and 15 million in 2000 and it becomes steady 2020 still in just above 15 million. agriculture sector is the most mostly declining steadily, starting from just above 5 million jobs in 1960 to become half 1980 and 200 now in 2020 is decreases as well.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to make comparisons over the given period (1960-2020). There is a clear overall trend identified, noting that healthcare jobs increased while manufacturing and agriculture declined, and retail grew. However, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting specific data points. For example, the student states that manufacturing reached a peak of 20 million in 1980 and then declined, but later confuses some figures and descriptions, such as stating retail "becomes steady 2020 still in just above 15 million" (whereas retail reaches 16 million) and describing agriculture with fragmented and unclear phrasing ("200 now in 2020 is decreases as well"). The overview is also slightly disjointed. These data inaccuracies and under-developed descriptions pull this criterion down to a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response attempts a logical structure by opening with an introduction and an overview, followed by body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. However, the progression within paragraphs is heavily disrupted by poor grammatical cohesion and confusing transitions. Phrases like "Whereas jobs decreases in the manufacturing sector, also we can see the emplyment declining in agriculture field as well. While in retail its jobs rapidly increased" demonstrate faulty and awkward connective devices. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal coherence is weak due to broken sentence structures and unclear referencing (e.g., "its jobs rose... as compared to manufacturing which is seen gradually decreases when eached to peak"). Overall organisation is observable, but cohesive devices are frequently inaccurate and mechanical, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptor.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student uses a restricted range of vocabulary related to data trends, such as "increase", "decline", "rose", and "peaked". However, there are numerous word choice and spelling errors throughout the text, including "emplyment" instead of employment, "grow industry" instead of growing industry, "boubles" instead of doubles, and "eached" instead of reached. Vocabulary is often repetitive or inappropriately formulated (e.g., "most mostly declining steadily"). While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic topic of economic sectors and jobs, the frequent lexical errors and lack of precision restrict the score to a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the writing is heavily marred by frequent grammatical errors, awkward syntax, and punctuation issues. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors ("jobs decreases", "its rose"), tense inconsistencies, and run-on sentences with missing prepositions or articles (e.g., "Healthcare field is the most grow industry is seen here its jobs rose from less than 5 million in 1960 above 10 milion in 2000 and then jumps to above 15 million jobs..."). Complex structures are frequently faulty and obscure meaning in places, though basic ideas remain understandable. This level of grammatical control aligns with Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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