Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph provides the visual information of number of vacancies in four departments of the economy in the United State between 1960 and 2020. From the graph it is clear jobs in retailing and healthcare sector were increased over time. For other firm, manufacturing fluctuated in the begning and decline occur after 2000, on the other hand agriculture offered lowest number of oppurtunities among all.

The production sector created more jobs in 1980 at 20 millions compare to 15 millions in 1960. However, it showed a consistent decline during the remaining years. In contarst, Retail bussiness showed and upward trend over the years, starting from around 5 millions in 1960 to just above 15 millions in 2020.

In addition, healthcare department also demonstrated a progressive growth; showing a surging trend beginning at apprximately 2 million to over 15 million after 60 years. Conversly, farming sector plummeted the oppurtunites for workers from roughly 5 millions to around 2 millions.

In conclusion, healthcare and retaling bussiness showed upward trend, while others depicted a decreasing trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors. The student presents a clear overview in the introduction and concluding sentence, noting that healthcare and retail showed upward trends while other sectors declined. Key data points are correctly identified and supported, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture dropping from roughly 5 million to 2 million. Although some precise data points are generalized (e.g., describing 1960 manufacturing as '15 millions' rather than exactly 15), the overall selection and reporting of trends are accurate and well-grounded in the visual data. The response meets the core requirements of Task 1 effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organized into four distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors, and a brief conclusion. There is a clear overall progression of ideas, and cohesive devices are employed to link sentences and contrast trends, such as 'For other firm', 'on the other hand', 'In contarst', 'In addition', and 'Conversly'. However, there are noticeable spelling and mechanical errors in cohesive markers and transitions ('contarst', 'bussiness', 'apprximately', 'Conversly', 'retaling'), and referencing is sometimes slightly clunky. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to structure the report, but cohesion occasionally feels a bit mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic trends and data reporting, such as 'fluctuated', 'consistent decline', 'upward trend', 'progressive growth', and 'plummeted'. However, there are several spelling errors ('vacancies' used instead of jobs/sectors, 'bussiness', 'apprximately', 'retaling', 'oppurtunites', 'begning'), and some awkward collocations or word choices ('For other firm', 'departments of the economy'). These lexical errors occasionally distract the reader, placing the response firmly at Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, utilizing subordinate clauses and contrasting structures (e.g., 'However, it showed a consistent decline during the remaining years', 'In addition, healthcare department also demonstrated a progressive growth; showing a surging trend...'). There are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors, including missing articles ('the visual information of number', 'increase over time'), subject-verb agreement issues ('jobs in retailing and healthcare sector were increased'), and incorrect punctuation before participle phrases. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

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