Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrate about the data jobs sector of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020. Overall, these occupation are divide into four including in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healtcare. The job graph of healthcare and retail reached by 15 millions by 2020. Whereas, there is drop in manufacturing and agriculture with 13 million and 3 million in the year 2020, respectively.
In 1960, jobs in agriculture and retail begin at 5 millions. A significent drop occurred in agriculture by 3 million, while jobs in retail rised by 15.5 millions by 2020. Occupation investment in healthcare sector started by 3 millions in 19
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping abruptly at 106 words and cutting off mid-sentence. While the student attempts an overview and mentions some key sectors like manufacturing, retail, and agriculture, the data reported contains several inaccuracies. For instance, the text states that jobs in agriculture and retail began at 5 million in 1960, whereas the chart shows agriculture at around 6 million and retail also at 6 million. Furthermore, key trends are underdeveloped due to the incomplete nature of the response, preventing a fully developed overview and comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay attempts a logical structure by starting with an overview paragraph followed by body details, but the organization is severely hindered by the abrupt cut-off at the end of the text. Paragraphing is attempted, but cohesive devices are basic and sometimes misused, such as 'Whereas, there is drop in manufacturing'. Referencing is generally clear, but the lack of completion means logical progression cannot be sustained throughout a full response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, such as 'jobs', 'sector', 'economy', and 'drop'. There are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'The graph illustrate about the data jobs sector' and 'Occupation investment in healthcare sector'. Spelling is mostly acceptable, but the limited range of vocabulary and frequent inaccurate lexical choices restrict the score to this band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. There are frequent grammatical and syntactical errors throughout the short text, such as 'The graph illustrate about', 'these occupation are divide', and 'jobs in retail rised by 15.5 millions'. Additionally, the response ends with an unfinished sentence fragment ('started by 3 millions in 19'). These errors frequently cause strain for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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