Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph depicts the number of job in different sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.
overall, the jobs in all sector rose substantially during a sixty year period,in 1960 healthcare sector experience a slight decline at one point, manufacture sectore were the most highest paying job in US economy 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, whereas retail sectore increased rapidly but the figure plateaued after 2000.
In 1960 the agriculture job contribute on economy with 6 million but this figure fell dramatically after 1960 by 3 million in 2020 in addition manufurturing sectore were also declined gradually across the period, respectively.
In contrast, the retail and healthcare show a steadly growth over a period. retail sectore contribute in the economy with 15 million and 11 million.
on other hand
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, such as mentioning the upward trends in healthcare and retail alongside the declines in agriculture. However, the report contains several inaccurate details and factual misreadings based on the visual data, such as claiming that jobs in 'all sector rose substantially' (whereas agriculture fell) and confusing job numbers with pay rates by stating manufacturing sectors were 'the most highest paying job'. Furthermore, the response is incomplete and abruptly trails off at the end. Because the word count is 137 words, falling short of the 150-word minimum, a penalty has been applied to Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text shows an attempt to organise information into paragraphs, but the structure quickly breaks down. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'overall, the jobs in all sector rose substantially during a sixty year period,in 1960 healthcare sector...' which results in run-on sentences and comma splices. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with the body paragraphs being extremely short and the final paragraph trailing off unfinished with dangling transition phrases like 'on other hand'. Progression is unclear and logical flow is frequently disrupted by mechanical errors and abrupt shifts in topic.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent word-form and spelling errors (e.g., 'manufacture sectore', 'manufurturing', 'steadly'). The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary related to economic sectors, but control is weak, leading to incorrect collocations and confused meanings, such as describing manufacturing jobs as 'paying' rather than employing. Range is limited and inadequate for a fully developed academic response, placing it firmly in the lower bands due to the frequency of lexical inaccuracies that occasionally strain the reader's understanding.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text features numerous basic errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the retail and healthcare show', 'manufurturing sectore were also declined'), missing capitalization and punctuation, and incomplete sentence structures. There is a very limited range of accurate complex structures attempted, and many complex attempts fail grammatically (e.g., 'whereas retail sectore increased rapidly but the figure plateaued after 2000'). Frequent errors in punctuation, capitalization, and syntax cause noticeable difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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