Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates about the data of jobs in economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, Manufacturing employement started at 15 millions in 1960. Whereas, Healtcare began with the lowest jobs ratio at 3 million reaching upto to 16 millions in 2020. In contrast, Retail and Agriculture employed by 5 millions eventually in both occupation rise and drop seen by 2020 timeline, rspectively.

In 1960, Manufacturing invested with highest jobs applicant at 15 millions, incresed by 20 millions in 1980 but eventually droped below Retail and Healtcare by 13 millions in 2020. Wherease, Healtcare sector began at the lowest investment of jobs at 3 million and gradually reaching upto 16 millions leaving behind all other sectors.

Howerver, Retail and Agriculture employement satrted by 5 millio

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping abruptly at 127 words. While the student attempts to outline some trends, such as mentioning that Manufacturing began at 15 million in 1960 and Healthcare grew significantly to 16 million by 2020, the data is frequently inaccurate or confused. For instance, the text claims Healthcare began with 'the lowest jobs ratio at 3 million' and Retail and Agriculture were 'by 5 millions eventually in both occupation rise and drop'. Furthermore, the abrupt cutoff prevents a complete summary or proper overview of all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The writing breaks down significantly due to the incomplete nature of the response, trailing off mid-sentence at the end. Although there are some basic attempts at logical transitions such as 'Overall,' 'In contrast,' and 'In 1960,' the overall progression is severely disrupted. Paragraphing is initiated but left incomplete as the text ends abruptly in the third paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical use of cohesive devices fails to maintain a smooth flow throughout the short text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and often imprecise or incorrect, such as 'employement', 'healtcare', 'rspectively', 'satrted', and 'millio'. The student struggles with accurate collocations and word forms, writing phrases like 'invested with highest jobs applicant' and 'jobs ratio'. While there are attempts to use topic-related terms like 'sectors', 'economy', and the names of the industries, frequent spelling and word-choice errors noticeably impede communication and restrict the score to a Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are flawed, such as 'Whereas, Healtcare began with the lowest jobs ratio at 3 million reaching upto to 16 millions in 2020.' There are frequent errors in verb tense consistency, prepositions, and sentence fragments, particularly noticeable in the incomplete final sentence. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and reflect a weak grasp of grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.