Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph demonastrate the data from four sectors of the economic sysytem about a variety of occupations in US for 60 year period from 1960 to 2020.
Over all, healthcare and retail showed a grow throught out the given time span and in 2020 both were on highest number followed by manufacturing and agriculture which were on 2nd and 3rd rank respectivily.
In 1960, number of jobs in both retailand and agriculture were almost 6 million however retail showed a steady incline and reached 16 million in 2020 while ratio of agriculture job went down and was approximately 2 million at the end.
Number of occupation in manufacturing was 15 million which showed up and down with time and reached at almost 13 million dollars in 2020. Lastly, number of jobs in healthcare showed a great rise and in 2020 it was almost 16 million dollars which was about 2 million in 1960.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main trends and making appropriate comparisons across the four sectors. An overview is provided, noting that healthcare and retail grew while manufacturing and agriculture fluctuated or declined. Key data points are correctly identified, such as retail and healthcare reaching 16 million in 2020. However, there are minor inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, the student states that manufacturing and healthcare reached '13 million dollars' and '16 million dollars' respectively, using the incorrect currency unit 'dollars' instead of 'jobs in millions'. Additionally, agriculture is described as being 'approximately 2 million at the end', which generally aligns with the chart. Overall, the task is well-covered, fitting the Band 6.5 to 7.0 profile, though limited by minor data imprecision and misuse of units.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into a clear introductory paragraph, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices such as 'however', 'respectively', and 'lastly' are used to signal logical relationships between ideas. Paragraphing is utilized effectively to separate the overview from the detailed body points. However, referencing and progression occasionally feel a bit mechanical, and some sentences lack seamless transitions. For instance, the transition into the final sentence regarding healthcare ('Lastly, number of jobs in healthcare showed a great rise...') is slightly abrupt. Overall, the arrangement is coherent and easy to follow, supporting a solid Band 6.0 performance.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'steady incline', 'fluctuate' (implied by 'up and down'), and 'respectively'. However, there are several noticeable spelling errors and word-choice inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'demonastrate' for demonstrate, 'economic sysytem' for economic system, 'grow' for growth, 'throught out' for throughout, 'retailand' for retail, and the strange application of 'dollars' to describe millions of jobs. These errors detract from the lexical quality and occasionally impede fluency, placing the response firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the relative clause in 'manufacturing and agriculture which were on 2nd and 3rd rank'. There are, however, frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in US', 'number of jobs in both retailand and agriculture', 'ratio of agriculture job went down') and preposition errors. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but minor errors persist. While these errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they occur frequently enough to prevent the grammar score from rising above Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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