Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in the economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the Healthcare sector had increase record of jobs by 2020 reaching up to 16 million. Whereas, Manufacturing sector invested jobs with highest of 15 million, dropping by 2020. In contrast, Retail sector had gradually changes with rising of 16 million in 2020. While, Agriculture had steadily changes in 1980 and decreased by 2 million in 2020.
In 1960, Manufacturing invested highest employment with 15 million, reaching upto 20 million in 1980 and gradually droped below Healthcare by 13 million in 2020. The investment in Healtcare sector was at the lowest point by 3 million in 1960, rising upto to 5 million in 1980 and drasticlly increased upto 16 million in 2020.
In 1960, Retail job sector invested 6 million, increasing by 10 million in 1980 and the growth reached upto 16 million crossing Manufactruing in 2020.
However, Agriculture jobs started by 6 million employemt, remaind steady with slight drop in 1980 at 3 million and decrease by 2 million in 2020.
Therefore, Healthcare played an raising role in job sector leaving all sectors behind in US economy by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student covers all parts of the task by reporting data for all four sectors across the given years, attempting an overview and making comparisons. However, the overview is somewhat confusingly phrased and lacks precision regarding overall trends. Some of the data reporting contains inaccuracies or awkward phrasings, such as stating 'Healthcare sector had increase record of jobs' or stating that Agriculture 'decreased by 2 million in 2020' when it dropped to 2 million. Additionally, the term 'invested' is incorrectly used throughout the essay to describe job numbers. Despite these limitations, the main features are successfully identified and contrasted, meeting the requirements for a Band 5.5 to 6.0 level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific sectors and years. However, progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions, repetitive sentence openings, and mechanical cohesive devices like 'Whereas', 'While', and 'Therefore' used incorrectly. For instance, 'Whereas, Manufacturing sector invested jobs...' fails to function as a proper contrasting clause. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall flow between sentences is occasionally halting. Paragraphing is attempted appropriately, placing the essay at a Band 5.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare' correctly employed. However, there are significant lexical inaccuracies, most notably the persistent misuse of the verb 'invested' instead of 'employed' or 'accounted for'. Other awkward expressions include 'increase record' and 'raising role'. Spelling errors are also present, such as 'droped', 'Healtcare', 'drasticlly', and 'Manufactruing'. Because these lexical errors and limitations impede natural expression, the lexical resource is constrained to a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing prepositions, incorrect verb forms ('raising role' instead of 'rising role', 'remaind steady'), and awkward phrasing ('gradually changes with rising of'). Punctuation and article usage are also flawed throughout the response. While meaning can mostly be deciphered, the high frequency of errors places this response firmly at the Band 5.0 level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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