Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrate the number of careers in four industries of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Looking first at the number of employees in agricultural segment were working in 1980 Whereas, in other years their were fewer individuals who was working in this sector. However, in 1960, manufacturing sector accounted for 15 million jobs.
it was constantaly falling to around 13 million jobs.
in contrast, retail sector began from the lower approximately 10 million jobs moreover, employment in this domain was continuously grew over the next several decades.However, in healthcare industry started from the higher and continuously decreases at around 3 million in 1960.
overall, jobs in the retail sector significant growth throughout the period eventually becoming the leading . Moreover, manufacturing employment saw aconsistent decline falling to around 13 million jobs by 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, standing at 138 words, which impacts task completion. While the student attempts to cover the main trends for the four sectors, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the visual data. For example, the student states that the healthcare industry 'started from the higher and continuously decreases at around 3 million in 1960', whereas the chart shows healthcare started at the lowest point (2 million) in 1960 and experienced a dramatic rise to 16 million in 2020. Similarly, descriptions of the agricultural and retail sectors contain confused data points and misread values. The overview attempts to capture general trends, but the supporting details are unreliable.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is inadequately paragraphed and lacks a clear logical progression. Sentences often feel disjointed due to misuse of cohesive devices, such as starting a sentence with 'Whereas, in other years...' or 'However, in healthcare industry started...'. Paragraphing is fragmented, with single sentences standing alone rather than grouping related ideas together. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information across the economy sectors. While basic transitional markers like 'in contrast' and 'overall' are attempted, their faulty execution hinders the overall cohesion of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally cause confusion for the reader. Phrases like 'number of careers' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'agricultural segment' demonstrate a limited control of topic-specific lexis. There are also frequent issues with word forms, such as using 'retail sector began from the lower' instead of a precise comparative structure. While the writer attempts some less common terms like 'manufacturing employment' and 'continuous decline', frequent inaccuracies prevent the score from rising higher.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak, with a high frequency of basic and complex sentence errors that frequently impede communication. Examples include severe subject-verb agreement and tense errors, such as 'their were fewer individuals who was working', 'was constantaly falling', and 'employment in this domain was continuously grew'. Punctuation is also problematic, marked by missing capitals at the start of sentences and run-on phrasing. The range of structures is extremely limited, and attempts at complex sentences almost invariably result in ungrammatical constructions.
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