Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the number of jobs calculated in millions in retail, manufacturing, agriculture and healthcare sectors of the ecnonomy in the US, from 1960 t0 2020.
Overall, the healthcare and retail showed a substantial increase, while manufacturing and agriculture sector dropped during the period.
In 1960, the healthcare was at around 2 milions, reached at near 5 million in 1980 and then showed a dramatic increase in next years. It accounted at near to 16 million. By 2000, retail sector showed highest figure in contrast to healthcare sector which noted at approximate 15 million and 12 million respectively,
However, the number of jobs recorded for two other sectors that are agriculture and manufacturing showed overall drop in the figures, in 1960, the number of jobs recorded highest for manufacturing sector that was around 15 million, then climbed at approximate 20 million, eventually the demand of peoples in tos sector dropped in 2020 and reaced at less than 15 million. While the agriculture also showed drop in job numbers from 6 million to approximate 3 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student covers all four sectors and provides a satisfactory overview of the main trends, noting that healthcare and retail increased while manufacturing and agriculture declined. Key data points are selected and reported, such as manufacturing reaching around 20 million in 1980 and agriculture dropping to 3 million. However, there are some inaccuracies and vague descriptions in data reporting, such as stating healthcare reached 'near to 16 million' by 2000 when the actual figure was around 11 million, and minor confusion regarding retail and healthcare figures in 2000. Despite these minor data misreadings, all parts of the task are addressed with a clear overall summary, placing the response securely in Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the rising and falling sectors. There is a clear overall progression. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or awkwardly used, such as 'By 2000, retail sector showed highest figure in contrast to healthcare sector which noted at approximate 15 million and 12 million respectively,' where referencing becomes slightly unclear. Paragraphing is used logically to group the rising and falling trends, resulting in a coherent structure overall that fits the Band 6 descriptor.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for task 1, such as 'substantial increase,' 'dramatic increase,' and 'overall drop.' There are several spelling and word-choice errors, including 'ecnonomy,' 'milions,' 'reaced,' and the awkward phrase 'demand of peoples in tos sector.' While less common vocabulary is attempted, these persistent mechanical and lexical slips limit the score to Band 5.5, as they occasionally cause slight friction for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'while manufacturing and agriculture sector dropped during the period' and 'the number of jobs recorded highest for manufacturing sector that was around 15 million.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward prepositions or verb forms, including 'accounted at near to,' 'noted at approximate,' and 'climbed at approximate 20 million.' Punctuation and article usage also show frequent inaccuracies. These errors place the response in the Band 5.5 range, as complex structures often become faulty.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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