Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph below, shows the information about trend of jobs. In the us from 1960 to 2020. The line graph has 4 figures. From which the manufacturing remins in trend. Across all those years.

There are four sectors of jobs trend in the line graph. In which the manufacturing sector remains in trend for many years. But decrease over time the agriculture trend is the smallest of all, it decreased significantly from 1960 to 2020.

Moreover. the manufacturing trend was at its peak in 1980. But afterwords it decreased gradually. Other trends like Retail and Healthcare. stay in almost the same. They both increased significantly from 1960 to 2020. Some how reaches the same point in 2020. and the last one which was the least in trend. was the agriculture which was over 5 in 1960. But from afterwards it began to decrease significantly. And it was decresed to less then 5 in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The candidate attempts to cover the main features of the graph, such as the trends in manufacturing, agriculture, retail, and healthcare. However, the response suffers from significant inaccuracies and vague reporting. For example, the writer states that agriculture was "over 5 in 1960" and "decresed to less then 5 in 2020," whereas the graph shows it dropping from 6 million to 2 million. Furthermore, the overview is weak and fragmented, appearing across disconnected sentences rather than a cohesive summary paragraph. The ideas are underdeveloped and lack precise data referencing, leading to a partial fulfillment of the task requirements, which aligns with a Band 5 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The organization of the response is heavily fragmented. The text is broken into short, disjointed paragraphs and stray sentences, such as "Moreover. the manufacturing trend was at its peak..." where sentence boundaries are misused with inappropriate periods. Cohesive devices are either missing or applied mechanically, and referencing is often unclear (e.g., "Some how reaches the same point in 2020"). There is no clear overall progression of ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information smoothly. This reflects the characteristics of Band 4.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like "trend," "jobs," "increase," and "decrease." There are notable lexical and spelling errors throughout the text, such as "remins," "afterwords," and "decresed." The student struggles to use less common lexical items accurately, and word choices are frequently awkward or unidiomatic (e.g., "the manufacturing remins in trend"). This vocabulary range is minimally adequate for the task but exhibits limitations that fit a Band 4 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences and flawed attempts at complex structures. Punctuation is used incorrectly throughout the text, particularly with sentence fragments ending in full stops prematurely (e.g., "Moreover. the manufacturing trend..."). There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("manufacturing remins," "trend... stay in almost the same") and tense inconsistencies. These errors cause frequent strain and difficulty for the reader, matching the criteria for Band 4.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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