Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illlustrates the four different sectors jobs manufacturing, retail, agriculture, heathcare in the usa between 1960 and 2020
Overall, the manufacturing provide highest number of jobs and agriculture contribute lowest over the period. While retail and healthcare considerably provides million of jobs throughout the period.
In 1960, manufacturing was the largest sector with around 15 million jobs. This figure rose to a peak 20 million in 1980, and slowly falling to approximately 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Retail, started 6 million jobs and over the period it increased steadily 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. It reaches then around 16 million in 2020 by the end of the period.
Healthcare showed mostt notable growth, its employment figure shows 2 million in 1960 and 15 million in 1980. followed by a sharp rise to 11 million in 2000, by 2020 it reaches around 16 million in 2020. Agriculture followed the opposite trend, started around 6 million in 1960 and gradually declining to 3 milion in 1980 , afterthat that it considerbaly drop 2 million in 2000 and falling at his least figure around 1 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to highlight the main trends, such as the rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that healthcare employment went from 2 million in 1960 to '15 million in 1980' (which should be around 5 million) and then 'a sharp rise to 11 million in 2000'. These figures are jumbled and do not accurately reflect the visual data. Similarly, the agriculture data contains errors. While an overview is attempted, the lack of data accuracy prevents the response from achieving a higher band. It satisfies the core requirements of summarising the chart, but the misread figures limit its score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is structured into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors, which shows an appropriate overall structure for an Academic Task 1. Logical connectors and transition phrases are used, such as 'Overall', 'While', and 'In 1960'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty due to grammatical errors within sentences. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the internal progression within the body paragraphs feels somewhat disjointed because of inaccurate data reporting and choppy phrasing. Paragraphing is present and logically divides the overview from the specific details, placing the text at Band 6.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate for describing trends, including 'illlustrates', 'peak', 'gradually declining', and 'notable growth'. However, there are frequent word-form errors and awkward collocations, such as 'manufacturing provide highest', 'heathcare', 'slowly falling', and 'mostt notable growth'. Spelling errors like 'illlustrates', 'heathcare', and 'mostt' also occur. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the general idea of changes over time, the lexical control is limited by these frequent inaccuracies and typos, placing the response firmly at Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and participial phrases (e.g., 'While retail and healthcare considerably provides million of jobs throughout the period'). However, control over grammar is weak, with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing provide', 'healthcare... shows'), missing articles ('Retail, started 6 million jobs'), and incorrect prepositional use or tense shifts. Punctuation is also problematic in places, with comma splices or run-on structures. These persistent errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, though the overall meaning remains decipherable.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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