Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The illustration shows information about the jobs in USA related to economy departments during the period from 1960 till 2020.

Overall, healthcare shows a significant rise from the lowest point of the graph and in the year 2020 it ends up at the top of the graph.

It is quite evident from the line graph, that healthcare department has the the lowest start as 2 million among others, in 1960. Retail and agriculture sector started from 6 million. Manufacturing had the biggest start on 15 million. Till 1980 only agriculture department fall from 6 to 3.5. But the other 3 department rose gradually. Manufacturing sector in them reaches the top at 20 million and mark up at the highest point.

Meanwhile in the year 2000, healthcare and retail kept on rising but, this time manufacturing decreases to 17 million close to retail. Throughout, agriculture remain the same.

Furthermore, agriculture decrease a bit from 4 to 3, in the year 2020. Healthcare and retail ends on the same mark 16 million. At last manufacturing fall below the healthcare and retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four economic sectors across the given period, providing an overview and reporting main features and comparisons. The overview captures the dramatic rise of healthcare to the top position by 2020. However, the development of ideas is sometimes hindered by imprecise or inaccurate data reporting (e.g., stating that agriculture fell to 3.5 in 1980 when the visual shows it dropping to 3, or describing agriculture decreasing from 4 to 3 in 2020 when it remained relatively stable or slightly lower). Furthermore, some trends are described in a fragmented manner rather than as cohesive overall trends. Nevertheless, all parts of the prompt are addressed, fulfilling the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, starting with an introduction and an overall summary, followed by body paragraphs structured chronologically. However, logical progression within and between sentences is occasionally awkward, particularly with abrupt transitions like 'Meanwhile in the year 2000' and 'Furthermore'. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or overused ('At last', 'In them'). Referencing is generally clear, but paragraphing could be better managed to group related time periods more fluidly. This level of organisation aligns with a Band 6.0 descriptor, showing a coherent overall arrangement with some faulty cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts to use sector-specific terminology such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'economy departments' instead of 'economic sectors', 'department' used for industry sectors, and awkward phrasing like 'biggest start' and 'ends on the same mark'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the limited and sometimes inaccurate range of vocabulary restricts the score to a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though complex structures are often prone to errors. Examples include tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing such as 'healthcare department has the the lowest start as 2 million among others' and 'agriculture remain the same' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is mostly functional, but grammatical errors are frequent enough to cause occasional minor difficulty for the reader, though they do not completely impede communication. These characteristics fit the Band 5.5 descriptor well.

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