Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph presents the number of jobs in the sectors of manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960 to 2020.
The manufacturing made up the most for US economy in terms of jobs from 1960 to a bit later than 2000 with highest figures of 20 million jobs in 1980. Contrastingly, the domain of agriculture was better than healthcare jn 1960s but soon experienced an ever growing dip and it marks as the sector with lowest number of jobs in 2020.
Rest of the two sectors, namely: retail and healthcare, did not start as good as manufacturing in terms of jobs in the United States of America. However, after thr 1960s these two domains progressesed exponentialy and ended as the fields with the most numbers of jobs in the America's economy in 2020. The figures crossed 15 million ultimately while been just 5 million jobs in retail and under 5 million in healthcare in 1960.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and makes relevant comparisons across the 1960-2020 timeframe. You correctly identify manufacturing as starting high and peaking in 1980 at around 20 million, and note that retail and healthcare experienced substantial growth to become the largest sectors by 2020. However, there are some minor data inaccuracies and omissions in your report. For example, you state that healthcare was under 5 million in 1960 (it was actually around 2 million) and your description of agriculture is slightly imprecise regarding its relative position in the 1960s. Furthermore, the overview lacks a clear, overarching summary statement highlighting the main general trends. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the criteria for Band 6.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
Your essay is divided into an introduction and three body paragraphs, showing a logical overall arrangement. Progression is generally clear, moving from manufacturing and agriculture in the second paragraph to retail and healthcare in the third. However, some cohesive devices are used clumsily or mechanically, such as 'Rest of the two sectors, namely:' and 'after thr 1960s these two domains progressesed exponentialy'. Referencing is also occasionally awkward, and paragraphing could be structured more cleanly to separate the overview from detailed body points. These issues place your cohesion and coherence performance squarely in the Band 6 range.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common and topic-specific terms such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, there are several noticeable word choice and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'progressesed exponentialy' (progressed exponentially), 'jn' (in), and 'thr' (the). Additionally, phrases like 'made up the most for US economy' are unnatural and lack precision. Because these errors do not severely impede communication, your lexical resource score is Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'While being just 5 million jobs in retail...' and 'However, after the 1960s these two domains progressed...'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are missing or incorrect articles, such as 'The manufacturing made up' and 'in the America's economy', as well as awkward gerund usage ('while been just'). Punctuation and verb tense consistency also slip at points. Because errors are frequent enough to cause some distraction for the reader while communication remains clear, a score of 5.5 is appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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