Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
the given line graph illustrates the information about number of jobs present in different four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcarefrom 1960 to 2020 in usa. the data is caliberated in millions.
overall, it is clear that, manufacturing shows signicantly highest proportion in initial years in last twenty years it droped down, while retail and agricuture shows dramatically highest number of jobs in throoughout period, healthcare remained lowest.
In 1960 to 1980,manufacturing in intiatial years rstar from 15 millions . reatail and agricultureshows hihest figure of jobs dramatically high and upsurged at 15 millions
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is severely under-length, containing only 94 words against the required 150-word minimum. This significantly penalises the task achievement score, as the overview and reporting of main features are incomplete and abruptly cut off. While the student attempts an overview and mentions some general trends (e.g., manufacturing peaking early and retail growing), the data is incomplete, inaccurate in places, and poorly developed. Key figures such as healthcare and retail matching at 16 million in 2020 are omitted due to the premature ending. Based on the severe word-count deficit and underdeveloped content, this falls under Band 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text is divided into three brief paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body detail. However, the logical progression breaks down immediately due to the incomplete nature of the response. Cohesive devices are minimal and basic ('overall', 'while'). Paragraphing is initiated but the final body paragraph trails off awkwardly mid-sentence in 1980, preventing any full development of logical sequencing or referencing across the entire dataset. This aligns with a Band 4.0 descriptor for cohesion and paragraphing.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare', along with analytical verbs like 'illustrates', 'droped', and 'upsurged'. However, there are numerous spelling errors ('signicantly', 'droped', 'agricuture', 'intiatial', 'rstar', 'reatail', 'hihest') and awkward word choices ('caliberated', 'shows signicantly highest proportion'). The limited control of spelling and word formation constrains the lexical score to Band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Sentences contain frequent and intrusive errors in punctuation, capitalization, and basic syntax (e.g., 'the given line graph illustrates the information about number of jobs present in different four sectors...', 'manufacturing in intiatial years rstar from 15 millions'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are problematic ('shows... is... droped down'). These persistent errors frequently strain the reader and reflect Band 4.0 characteristics.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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